Some people say you can learn the most about a person by meeting their friends. Whether or not this is true in the case of my special someone is debatable, but what is undeniable is how incredibly wonderful his two roommates are. Some of our best times have been shared on his living room couch with Rob and Ben. Their three personalities play off of one another like a bacon, egg and cheese.
As terrific as I think Rob and Ben both are, I must admit that Rob’s dating life has been (marginally) more interesting to follow. Both boys have their fare share of game (which I was quickly taught to refer to as “Swag“) and go on more dates that any of us could keep track of, but Rob has a way of saying the most offensive things about his dates with tact and gracefulness. It’s quite amazing.
After much contemplation about what doing so might reveal, I decided to sit down with Rob and talk about his intentions, motivations and experiences with dating. I hope you find some insight, guidance, relief or gratification in the information I was able to collect. Enjoy!
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At 6’7” he has explained many a times that height is a deal breaker. Fair enough. He has also explained that in the summer he cares more about weight (see what I mean about offensive things being said tactfully)? He absolutely cannot deal with fat legs or fat arms. Although, in the winter a belly is doable. When asked if he was a boob or butt man, he explained that he is an everything man. Actually, he said, “I appreciate everything,” how accommodating of him.
Next, I asked him what the first thing he looks for in a woman is. I was a little surprised to learn that his answer was not a specific physical trait. His answer actually mimicked what mine would be. As many of us who partake in online dating do, Rob’s first thought when he sees a date is “whether she resembles her picture or not.” If the girl does not resemble her picture and there is no attraction, he will just “get one drink and dip out.” Romantic, much?
With endless date spots in New York City, I often wonder how boys settle on the place(s) they do, so I decided to ask Rob. He explained that he has certain places he frequents more often than others
“The fact that I’m going on a date dictates that it will be a good place but I go on enough dates that if I’m spending all that cash, we are going to the place we are because I know I like it or because it’s a new place that I want to try. I definitely don’t go to one standard place because I think it’s the most effective.” Interesting.
When I asked about how Rob decides whether to kiss a girl on a (first) date, he shared his tricks with me. I was surprised to hear that everything he said was exactly what would make me melt. “As soon as I get the sense that she wants to kiss, I brush her hair to the side and sometimes I’ll say I’m going to try this and sometimes I’ll just go in for it.”
I guess here is the perfect place to explain the title of this post. Rob explained that, to him, a first kiss has become so desensitized (I’m assuming since there have been so many for him?) that it is equivalent to a high five. I don’t ever want to be in his shoes. A first kiss should always be something incredible – even if its awful it should feel fresh, new and be full of excitement. Always.
I guess our conversation got both of us thinking, because I would not have asked Rob any question that prompted what he shared with me next. He explained that at the end of every good date he goes on he makes a similar mistake. “I try and plan the next time we will talk, which is bad – I should stop doing that. It freaks them out every time.”
The last part of our conversation was without a doubt the most insightful. I couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief when I learned that girls are not the only ones who sometimes walk away from dates wishing they had said something different. I guess even though sometimes it feels like we are worlds apart, maybe boys and girls really are not that far apart at all?