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Hey God, How Ya doin’?
You know, I’ve often wondered why there are milestones that kids meet when they are growing up, and why are they so important? Now that my kids are older I’ve finally come to realize that milestones are put in place to help the PARENT.
I think it’s Your way of saying, “see, that wasn’t so bad. Now let’s see what else I can throw at you! How much will it take for you to bend, or break? How strong of a person will you become by the end of your life, and what kind of individual being will you help to form in the process?”
What a huge task! Raising a child has got to be the toughest job. Look at all the stuff we’re responsible for doing: We are actually in charge of a life. We have to guide that child through so many facets of life: morality, trust, honesty, humanity, love, hate, religion, principles, and the list goes on and on; the list never stops. It’s a constant learning process with no curve. We either succeed or we fail.
The problem is, though, that we never really know if we succeeded or failed because you never stop raising a child. It’s like a big huge test that You give us that never ends. Sure, I can get clues of how it’s going — like when they become young adults and how they deal with life itself — but I’m gonna take a guess here – You’re not actually gonna give me the final grade until I meet You again, right?
There are so many times when I’ve laughed and cried, and I sought advice from You. Sometimes I thought You were busy doing something more important because certainly You were ignoring me; leaving me hanging while You were like trying to stop another world war or something. All the while it turns out that a particular issue was something You wanted me for figure out on my own. Go figure, You gave me a brain and actually expected me to use it!
So God, here’s how I handled a one of those situations this month — just in case you were busy helping starving babies somewhere and missed it.
I woke up early this morning and like I normally do, enjoyed my coffee — alone — before anyone else woke up. (That’s my little piece of Zen but sometimes I think You afford me that time in order to deal with what is to come)
A short while later, Kaylee (my oldest) woke up and said she had to tell me something. (Uh-oh. When a teenager wants to fess up to something, this normally means that if they don’t tell, a higher authority will, so they figure they better do it first)
“Me and Alex were going to Denny’s last night after work and I accidentally went through a yellow light and I got pulled over.”
(Okay, pause; deep breath; remain calm. Remember, this is not only a test of how I handle my child, but a test of how I handle myself. Oh, the PRESSURE! I had envisioned this day two years ago when she first got her license. I imagined yelling, grounding, and more yelling.)
She continues: “The cop was pretty nice and said you can call on Monday, because I’m still a minor, and arrange for me (me, that’s good! she’s taking financial responsibility) to pay the ticket and maybe do community service.”
Tears creep from her eyes and she looks as if she’s disappointed in herself for disappointing me. This doesn’t happen often with Kaylee – crying. She even admitted that she tried making herself cry when she got pulled over, but just couldn’t do it.
After reminding her that “had she rolled through the light and hit someone, this would be something that she would never in her life be able to undo” and it would be “a burden you and that person would bear for a lifetime”, and that “your insurance may go up because of a stupid mistake”, I’m pretty sure that she has learned something. And all this was accomplished without me yelling and screaming!
“Oh my You!” I think I just passed part of the test!
Til next time,
~ Sheila