About 15 minutes after leaving a great appointment with a touring escort I realized I had left my cell phone in her room. I went back to retrieve it and knocked on the door; she was talking with another client, but quickly looked around and couldn’t find it. Later I texted her to see if she found it before leaving the hotel, and I haven’t heard back. I’d like to see her again, and I’m wondering if I crossed any lines of etiquette that might give her second thoughts about seeing me again.
But that’s not the only issue here, because despite the well-known disclaimer sex workers are indeed selling you something other than time and companionship; we are selling discretion. Would you want another client knocking on the door while you’re still there, or hanging around outside to watch you leave and note your license plate number? Naaah, I didn’t think so. And other gents don’t want you doing it to them, either. Furthermore, do you really want to know how soon your appointment was after the one before you, or how soon the next one is after you? Even if that’s your kink, you don’t have the right to draft another client to participate in it without his consent. An escort’s scheduling practices are nobody’s business but hers; she may choose to space her appointments out or to schedule them very tightly, and when she’s on tour the latter is much more likely than the former. Sure, it’s unlikely that she’s got them only fifteen minutes apart, but what if she does? Or in your case, what if the next client was scheduled only half an hour behind you, and his time management was just as loosey-goosey as yours but in the opposite direction so he was arriving fifteen minutes early? Awkward, that, and possibly damaging to her business.
What you should’ve done was to immediately call or text her by whatever means you used to text her later; if you didn’t have that phone and/or her number with you, it would’ve been better just to wait until you did. I’m guessing that the phone you misplaced was a disposable “burner”, and the one you texted her from later was your normal one; if that’s the case, it was not really pressing that you recover it immediately. But even if it was your primary phone and you absolutely needed it, your needs don’t trump hers; discretion and courtesy both demand you always ask permission before approaching an incall, and refrain from doing so until that permission is granted.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)