This Labor Day found us in Oak Glen apple picking as per our usual family tradition.
I have written here and here about our traditionand it always has me in a sentimental mood afterwards.
Sometimes it's a really beautiful thinghaving a blog that is part online journalas I have been able to capture so many transitioning seasons of our family
in words and visuals.
For in truthall of life is a transitionfrom one stage to anotherjust some stages seem to have more definable jumps.
I love being able to go back and read through the yearsof something as simple as apple picking with our family.This yearly activity has captured many of our family seasonsand has me reflecting on this years family season.
I must sayI must not have read the parenting book all the throughbecause when i was younger I thought parenting ended for the most part
when children turned 18andnow I realize parenting just changes shapebut is still a constant in life.
I realize in trying to move on to my next chaptersometimes I move too far ahead in celebrating the empty nest idea.
Because this summer mine isn't empty.
My darling daughter is home searching for hergrown up after college career jobandmy youngest is working his way through Junior College before he transfers to the four year college.
So there is a lot of trying to figure out how thisnew family seasoncan best play out for all involved.
I must admit my youngest of threehas a very different life thanhis over protected siblings.Most likely why he has been able to live at home for college beginnings.
By the third time aroundI realize hands on parenting at this ageis a done deal
with no need.
Hunter is a most respectful young man and a joy to be around.
I am also ever so proud of what a hard worker he has become.
Besides college full timehe is working at UPS part time …on a shift that starts at 3:30 … AM.
And he is still able to carve out time for successful relationships.
I see my parenting role with Hunteras one to offer support.
I still do try to arrange my schedule as to be home to make meals for himbetween his coming and goings of work and school.
To provide a strong base to venture successfully out from.I am ever so proud of the man he is becoming.
My darling daughteris in the throes of career job searchingand it has been fraught with many ups and downsand almost theres …
This summer has been trying on both Ellis and I.
She was not looking forward to moving home after four years of being on her ownandI had finally become happy with our family of three routines.
Ellis and I had many talks about her moving home before she didtrying to talk in advance to avoid the many mine fieldsthat could come about from two adult women sharing one roof.
I must say for the most part we have done really well
with respect and kindness.
But I know we both are anxious for the next chapter to begin.
Maybe too anxiousat least on my part.
I have felt myself becoming more and more tensewith the situationresulting in bouts of irritabilitythat surpass the situations.
I emotionally moved out oflets make the very best of the situationintowhen will this end!
But I realize nownot for why it might seem.For Ellis truly is one of the easiest of people to get along with.
I know now I wanted it to be overto protect my heart.
I have always been one if something is going to hurtI just want to jump in and get it donenot have it hanging over my head.
But parenting doesn't work that way … does it.
I realize I must straddle the having her home here now
and
savoring it wholeheartedly with the impending heartache of when she leaves.
Because this time when Ellis leavesshe won't be coming home for school breaks or summers any more.
Ellis will be setting up her own home and life.
It will be yet another transitionandseason for our familyas she moves towards having one of her own.
So I realizeI must not hang back in fear disguised as irritabilitybut I must step back all the way inwith my head upandmy heart strong
to savor and enjoythis seasonthat is our family.
As always my friends
I wish you love and joyas you style your life