You've heard of introverts and extroverts but have you heard of the half x half version, an ambivert? They are the best of both worlds. But, having personality traits from both sides tend to curate some problems. This is why I've created this post and video to present the compilation of problems that I faced as an ambivert.
Ambivert Problems
- We don't live up to other's expectations
Many ambiverts will be mistaken for extroverts because they seemed loud when they are with a close group of friends. However, ambiverts are only loud when they are comfortable, or when it is required for them to be loud.
Take for example, as an online personality/content creator, I have to present my extroverted side so that the content that I produced seemed more 'fun'. However, when I am off-camera, I am not that loud.
This change from extraversion to introversion is also due to the response I get off camera for being too overwhelming. After many such experiences, I decided to tone down my personality and try to fit in with society. Thus, that also leads me to build up a wall, giving others the impression that I'm more introverted than I actually am.
In essence, I have an introverted outer shell and an extroverted inner shell.
- We are the life of the party when it comes to a small group of people but horrible with large groups
This happens to me a lot. The sudden behavioural change flabbergasted people that know me for the first time or only saw me in a smaller group setting before. When I am with a small group (5 people), I'm known to be the life of the party. Whereas when the group size increases, I suddenly become as prominent as a wallflower.
One of the reasons is because most of the people in the big group consisted of strangers that we do not know or are comfortable with. We are still unsure of what is the best way to present ourselves to them and thus we tone down to overthink.
Since these behaviours are of the opposite ends of the spectrum, it makes people question our behaviours and sometimes even our genuineness.
- Our Extrovert Self vs Our Introvert Self
Since ambiverts are half introverted and extroverted, our minds are constantly battling with each other. The extroverted side wants us to go out and party whereas the introverted side wants us to go home.
Sometimes because of the war in our head, we are unsure about what we want too.
If you're looking to get an introvert or an extrovert out of this situation, you can either talk to them to hear their thoughts or just give them some times to sort the ravaging thoughts in our heads.
In an easier term, many of us have the RBF (Resting B*tch Face) and that is a factor as to why many people think we are unapproachable. The fact is, most of us are still trying to assess the situations and the different personalities in the room. In order to do that, we choose not to create a scene and stand close to the walls.
However, that will lead people to misunderstand that we're arrogant and unfriendly - which is far from the truth. We are just afraid of humans.
Just remember, we are like animals - more afraid of you than you are of us.
What are extroverts, introverts and ambiverts?
In case you're still wondering, what are the traits of an extrovert, an introvert and an ambivert personality, here's a quick rundown.
What is an Extrovert?
You know the loud one in your room that seemed to radiate too much light and energy? Those people are extroverts. Extroverts are often outgoing, enthusiastic, friendly and action-oriented. They can sometimes be seen as attention-seeking due to their volume and gestures.
Extroverts get their energy from hanging out with people. They love to talk and they are open and willing to share about their lives and ideas. Think of an extrovert as starting the day with no coins. The more they speak to people, the more coins they gain and that's how extroverts are.
What is an Introvert?
Introverts are often quiet, reserved and thoughtful. It is sometimes rather difficult to read these people and they get overwhelmed with too much social interaction. If you are at a party, you will easily spot them by the wall or not spot them at all because they won't attend the party. Unlike extroverts, introverts gain energy from being alone. They have a close circle of friends and phone calls scare them.
Think of it this way, introverts start out the day will 5 coins. Each interaction takes 1 coin away from them. At the end of the day, they'll be drained without any coins left.
What is an Ambivert?
Ambivert is a mix of extroversion and introversion. If anyone is not a 100% extrovert or a 100% introvert, they are ambiverts. So technically, most of us are ambivert from this definition. However, according to Myers-Briggs personality theory, ambiverts don't exist. People just have more introverted or extraverted preferences.
But what do you call those people that are on the 50% line then? Ambiverts. I'm sure there's a longer explanation for this whole ambivert debate but we're not going to go into that. Instead, for the article and video sake, we're going to base this on the existence of ambiverts.
So ambiverts can be a person that enjoys parties but only with a small group of people. They can also like hanging out with a stranger, gaining a 'coin' from that interaction but losing a 'coin' when they hang out with another stranger.
Some people can think of ambiverts as moody due to their behaviour with different people. But they are wrong. Ambiverts expresses their 'moody' side because they are uncomfortable with the people they are with or the place they are at.
Think of it this way. Ambiverts start of their day with 3 coins. Some interaction gives them coins. Other interaction takes coins away from them. And they don't know which interaction will do that. At the end of the day, ambiverts are just confused about what to do because their lives seemed to be rotating on a wheel of fortune.
So, being an ambivert is not easy, but having both introverted and extroverted traits does help us have an easier understanding of both introverts and extroverts. I guess you can say it's the best of both worlds.