Today I will do the unthinkable and solve two problems in one go, both with the use of poetry. Well, acrostic poetry, anyway, which I don’t think counts as poetry but we’ll let it slide like hot butter down a camel’s back (Ooh! Poetic!)
First, let’s look at the strife of the humble depressed person. This person is sad, like, all the time, and often feels very lonseome and is fed up with the whole life process. So, I reccommend the following cheer-up formula (and I am a monk so you know you can trust it.)
Hurry up and
Eat
A
Lot of
Toppings on your ice-cream and
Hot sauce
The ice-cream and sprinkles, etc, will really turn up the happy-o-meter, while the hot sauce is designed to spice you up.
But what, I hear you say, about those that indulge too much in this procedure of poetry? What if they engorge their tummies with many a chocolate and many a crumbled cookie bit?
I give you the answer to obesity!
Oh!
But you are
Extremely
So fat
Exercise you chimp!!!
And now we have come full circle. You are now healed from both depression and obesity, my friends. Whether one, the other or both – YOU ARE FREE! ALL HAIL MONK MONKEY WHO HEALED YOU FROM YOUR AFFLICTIONS AND HANG-UPS! SEND HIM MONEY!
A
Monk doesn’t make
Enough money to buy
Nary a banana so send him some today!
(Money, not bananas. I’ll buy my own bananas. With the money you send me. If there’s any left over I might get a car or some nice new stationary.)