This is a post that I think should be shared, to show how exhausting it can be at times to fight through anxiety and depression, but it’s worth it in the end.
This will sound silly to anyone who doesn’t understand depression and anxiety, but I feel like I had a bit of a social breakthrough tonight.
I went out. To a friend’s party. Even though I was legitimately tired after 9 hours of yoga training and ready to cancel many times. I did change my RSVP to “maybe” to not feel the pressure. But I also made sure to wash my hair after soaking in my Epsom salts. And then I ate and watched a television show to unwind.
Then I decided, what the hell. I’ll go, say hi, and then leave if I want. (A strategy my therapist was trying to get me to adopt for a year to no avail!) And I went. And stayed for two hours, socializing with my friends and several people I didn’t know. I finally had to leave because I really do need to sleep. But I’m so glad that I went. I would have always felt guilty if I had missed the event.
What I noticed is that I have two reactions to tiredness. If I am physically tired, I can often somehow power though. But if I’m tired due to depression and anxiety, it’s like pulling teeth to get me to leave my bed let alone the house. I think it’s the same when I’m physically sick versus mentally ill. Interesting.