And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Donald Trump that all the world should be taxed. 2 (And this taxing was first made when American troops were pulled from Syria.) 3 And all were to be taxed, every one to help build a wall.
4 And Joseph had just bought a house in Nazareth, but had to go into the IRS office, unto the city of record, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the county of Northhampton:) 5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child but no insurance. 6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered at St. Luke’s. 7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him under a bridge; because there was no housing for them in Bethlehem.
8 And there were in the same country soldiers abiding in their bases, keeping watch over their radar by night. 9 And, lo, drones appeared before them, and the glory of aliens shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10 And the ETI said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of Bethlehem a Democrat, which is the Prince of Peace. 12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying under a bridge in Bethlehem. 13 And suddenly there was with the UFO a multitude of the heavenly host praising democracy, and saying, 14 Glory to the American ideal in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward women and men.
15 And it came to pass, as the drones were gone away from them into heaven, the soldiers said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the ETI hath made known unto us. 16 And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying under a bridge. 17 And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. 18 And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the soldiers. 19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.
20 And the soldiers returned, glorifying and praising democracy for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.
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