4 Tips for Keeping Marriage Alive Post-Baby

By Nesheaholic @nesheaholic
Many couples grow apart after having children. Being new parents and parents in general comes with stress and stress is hard on relationships. Hubs and I have navigated parenthood thus far with only minor disagreements. I'm not a marriage expert but I know what has worked for us. Here are my four tips for keeping marriage alive post-baby. 

Revel in and appreciate seeing your partner in their role as a parent. 
I love seeing Hubs with BabyCakes. Seeing him interact with her as a father makes me love him in a whole new way. Enjoy seeing your partner bloom into their new role in life. Don't leave your appreciation for just Mother's Day or Father's Day. 

Split the Burden
BabyCakes is the best burden I've ever had. We love her, but she takes work. As a couple you have to split up the work so neither person feels like they're going at things alone. This doesn't mean splitting diaper changes down the middle, or alternating  early mornings (unless that works for you!). What is most important is that each person plays to their strengths and puts in work in the ways they are best at. I do the majority of diaper changes and morning wake-ups, but Hubs entertains her while I'm cooking and handles the evening routine when I have rehearsals or work late. 

Have Dates
Having a baby  gives you much less time with each other as a couple. You have to make time for yourselves outside of your familiar settings. We don't have much family in the immediate area so our dates are limited but my sister-in-law has been gracious enough to give us a date night every other month or so. We also found a great date-night babysitter on Care.com that we use occasionally. Don't be constrained to the traditional notion of a date. We enjoy taking a half-day of work and going to breakfast at a diner together after we drop BabyCakes off at daycare. Some quality time together that doesn't cost us anything additional in childcare. 

Set Couple Rituals
Because babysitters do get expensive quickly, set in-home couples rituals that you can do more often and are free of cost but offer designated time together. We have what we call "Parents Lounge," which is our basement after the baby is sleep until we go to bed. We're two floors down from her so we don't have to worry about waking her up. We can watch TV, have a drink, play games and just chill together.

Communicate in Fun Ways
Make sure you talk about things that aren't related to the responsibilities of housekeeping, parenting, work or other obligations. Talk about TV, movies, games, music, pop-culture. We send each other emails, texts and videos during the day. Life can be heavy so take an opportunity to enjoy light conversation. 

I love our little family, but we can't neglect how it all started, me and him. 
How are you keeping your marriage alive post-children?