I feel dirty today. I have taken three showers in the last few hours and I can not seem to remove the guilt and ugliness I feel inside. I do not feel comfortable in my body. I try to hide it behind the makeup and eccentric clothes… but do not know what I am doing with myself anymore. I feel overwhelmed with condemnation. The hardest I tried to be…never seemed to be good enough to be loved.
I feel as if God is so offended when he looks down at me. Where am I suppose to run when the only place that was supposed to be safe would not accept me? I feel as if something is wrong with me…confidence was shattered. Never instilled in my little heart. I do not belong anywhere,
Pretending to have it all together, the insides of me disintegrate. I just want to hide on the couch, I don’t want to get up and face the world…face myself. A zombie…
Stay strong <3"><3"><3 you are not alone