I'm off for the rest of the day which, of course, will send you all into deep depression so here are a couple of 'Funnies' to keep you going:
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had
just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, 'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'
'I was stung by a bee', she said.
'Where', he asked.
'Between the first and second hole', she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, 'Then your stance is too wide.'
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The next is courtesy of Andra who is really, really 'grouse' - and for an explanation/translation see the comment thread here:
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Sanders, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory.
When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week,
a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well...
We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband.
Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's
and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The MEDICARE Helpdesk recommend that you drop your husband
off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him!"
Have a nice day!