So, approaching Christmas quickly…if you are wanting to help your divorced or divorcing friend or family member over the holidays last minute, how about these suggestions:
10) An “Open Now” Christmas card with a little extra cash or gift card…money may be tighter than you know.
9) If they are going to special services at church Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, be a friend, sit with them.
8) Better yet…invite them to go WITH you…offer to pick them up, then they don’t even have to walk in alone.
7) Do you know when their kids won’t be around? Include them in some of your plans during that time, just not the ones that are “overly family,” as it can remind them too intensely of what they are missing this year (kind of the old fifth wheel thing with a twist of grief mixed in). In these things, even if they turn you down, being invited means a lot.
6) Plan now to stop by the day after, and give them a chance to debrief what might have been an emotionally difficult time.
5) Use some of your time together to discuss their plans for New Year’s Eve…might be a lonely time.
4) Offer to help some with the holiday meal, if they are planning one. A guy might not feel competent to cook well, and might appreciate a pie or a little help in the kitchen. A gal might be thrilled to not have to clean the kitchen all by herself afterwards.
3) Share some extra Christmas goodies…fudge, cookies, whatever…just being thought of counts. 2) If appropriate for your relationship, you could choose to buy the person a really special gift, in place of the one that previously would have come from a spouse.
1) And most of all, pray for the person. As much as it is taken for granted, prayers of those who care make more of a difference than many of us realize. Even just a short mention during prayers at meals, or silently in your daily devotional time, your prayers may be the very ones that keep them going, whether you ever realize it or not. You might even drop them a card, letting them know they have been in your prayers. I still have the cards sent to me by those folks almost 15 years ago!