If you're wondering, "Will he miss me if I leave him alone?"...
Then you may be surprised by the answer that I'll be sharing in this post.
After all, you two had been lovers in the past.
And during the time you were together...
You probably felt your relationship was something special.
So it should be reasonable to expect that your ex will miss you if you leave him alone, right?
But is that really true?
Or will leaving him alone get him to forget you?
What should you do?
What's Your Reason For Leaving Him Alone?
If you are thinking of leaving him alone hoping that your ex will miss you...
Then this by itself suggests that the communication (or lack of communication) is an issue.
If you are thinking of getting into No Contact, then maybe certain things have happened:
- You may have contacted him excessively and he is starting to feel annoyed...
- Your ex may have told you to stop contacting him...
- You may have just had an argument, quarrel or conflict with him...
- You have been in communication with him but he hasn't been engaged in the conversations...
- Your ex may have been ignoring your last few messages...
- You may have been blocked recently and wonder if you should stay out of contact for a while...
- You found out that your ex has someone new...
- Your ex is showing disinterest in his texts to you...
All the above situations show that you have felt that something was wrong...
And that's why you are considering leaving him alone in hopes that he might miss you.
After all, if things are going well with your ex and he is engaged in the conversations with you...
Why would you even consider leaving him alone?
So if you're hoping that your ex will miss you simply by leaving him alone...
That fully depends on your situation right now...
Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?
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Was Your Last Conversation With Him Pleasant?
Think about the last time you had a quarrel or fight with him...
Then think about the last time you both had been so sweet and loving towards each other...
Right after both incidents, in which case would you miss him more?
Most likely after you both had been loving towards each other, right?
That's because when you two were loving, you felt very good and positive towards him.
And that feeling made you miss him.
But when you both quarreled and fought, you felt very angry and negative towards him.
And that feeling did not make you miss him.
In fact, it might even make you resent him a little.
Similarly, if you want him to miss you if you leave him alone...
Then your last contact with him has to be a positive and pleasant one.
So if your last contact with him was very pleasant...
Very positive and uplifting...
And more importantly, you made him feel good about himself...
Then there's a very high chance that he will miss you if you leave him alone.
In fact, he might even reach out to you on his own when the last contact was positive and he doesn't hear from you.
But if your last contact gave him a negative feeling towards you...
Then chances are that not only will he NOT miss you...
But it can also let him feel that the breakup was the right thing to do.
Does He Feel You Are More Concerned About Your Feelings or His Feelings?
Think back to the last contact you had with him.
Did you show that you were more concerned about HIS thoughts, HIS feelings, and what HE wants?
Or did you show that you were more concerned about YOUR thoughts, YOUR feelings and what YOU want?
More often than not, the biggest underlying reason for a breakup is because of a lack of concern towards an ex's thoughts and feelings.
And if you really examine your breakup...
You would realize that it's because your ex probably did not feel the way he wanted to feel in the relationship...
And that's because you hadn't focused on what he wanted in the relationship.
While you may not have deliberately denied him of how he wanted to feel in the relationship...
You may not have realized that you hadn't attended to his needs and wants.
And over time, that eventually led to unhappiness in the relationship...
And hence, the breakup.
So it's important that whenever you have any contact with him right now...
You need to show a contrast to how you were before.
And one of the best ways to do that is to show that you are concerned about his thoughts and feelings.
So how do you show you are concerned about his thoughts and feelings?
By simply letting your ex talk more in the conversation.
The more he talks, the more you show you are paying attention and interested in what he has to say.
And the more you show you are interested, the more he will feel good towards you.
That will allow him to feel you are concerned about his thoughts and feelings...
And that can allow him to miss you if you leave him alone afterward.
But what if you had already made the mistake of showing you are more concerned about your thoughts and feelings instead of his?
Then STOP talking about yourself, and start letting him talk.
This way, he can see a difference in you...
And that can let him change his perception towards you for the better.
Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?
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Do You See Him Regularly?
If you get to see him regularly, then you might be in one of the following situations:
- You might be working together...
- You might be going to the same class together...
- Both of you have the same friends...
- Both of you have the same hobbies and see each other as part of the groups you join...
- You have kids with your ex...
- You live with your ex...
- Any situation where you cannot avoid seeing him...
If you're in any of the situations above, then leaving him alone MIGHT not get him to miss you...
But may even get him to feel resentful towards you.
For example, if he needs to contact you for work purposes and you don't respond to him...
That can get him to feel angry towards you.
Or, you two might have kids together and if he contacts you with regards to your kids and you don't respond to him...
That can also get him to feel angry towards you.
Basically, if you are in any situation where he expects communication with you...
Then hoping he misses you if you leave him alone wouldn't be a good idea.
However, there are some situations when leaving him alone can get him to miss you.
Such situations include:
- Although you see him regularly, you aren't actually in communication with him.
- You only respond to him if he reaches out but otherwise you leave him alone.
- Your last communication with him was very positive.
If you are in either of the situations above...
Then leaving him alone can get him to miss you.
Did The Break Up End Badly?
If your breakup ended badly...
And there was no other positive communication after the breakup...
Then it might still get him to feel negative towards you.
And if he feels negative towards you...
Chances are that he won't miss you, even if you leave him alone.
This is based on the Recency Effect.
That means the very most recent communication you had with him will influence how he feels towards you.
And this goes back to whether the last communication with him was a positive one.
If your last communication with him was the breakup...
Then leaving him alone now may not get him to miss you.
That's because that last incident would have left a "bad taste in his mouth".
So does that mean that if your breakup ended badly that he won't miss you if you leave him alone?
Not necessarily.
If you had a bad breakup, he can still miss you if you leave him alone long enough.
Think about an incident when someone offended you sometime back.
Compare to then and now...
Are your negative feelings stronger when the incident first happened?
Or are your negative feelings stronger now?
Most likely the negative feelings were stronger when the incident first happened right?
That's because when time passes, any negative feelings will fade as well.
And that can be true for your breakup as well.
So while he may not necessarily miss you immediately after you leave him alone...
There's still always a possibility that he will miss you after some time has passed.
Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?
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Had You Text-Bombed Him?
What if you had text-bombed him recently?
If you are guilty of this...
Then your best option would be to leave him alone now.
However, the purpose of leaving him alone isn't to get him to miss you.
Instead, it's to give him some space and breathing room...
And also for you to calm down and work on managing your emotions well.
When you text-bomb him...
It signifies to him that you are now emotional.
And no guy likes an emotional girl.
Right now, after your text-bomb...
Chances are that he feels negative towards you.
So leaving him alone now will get him to gradually let that negative feeling fade.
But how do you get him to miss you in this situation?
Once some time has passed, you want to reach out and apologize.
And this is important because there is no way to justify text-bombing him.
Text-bombing is never good.
So by leaving him alone for some time and then reaching out to apologize...
It can let him feel that you may have changed.
And apologies done correctly can let him feel positive towards you.
Once you apologize, leave him alone again.
Why?
Again, we go back to the Recency Effect.
When you apologize, it replaces the last communication you had (that was negative).
And it leaves him with a positive feeling.
Now, when you leave him alone...
I can get him to feel that you have really changed and that can get him to miss you.
Do You Come Across As Needy & Desperate?
Was your last communication begging and pleading him to give you one more chance?
Was it about you telling him that you will change, or have changed?
And was it about you trying to convince him to get back with you again?
If so, then leaving him alone now will not get him to miss you.
This is similar to the previous point I made about text-bombing him.
If you are guilty of making yourself seem needy and desperate towards him...
Then you need to leave him alone as well.
The purpose, again, isn't to get him to miss you...
But to let the negative feelings he has towards you fade away.
Once enough time has passed...
You can reach out to him and apologize for coming across as needy and desperate.
Again, guys do not like needy and desperate girls.
So the first step is to always remove that perception he has of you.
And the way to do that is to first apologize...
Then leave him alone.
This will get him to feel you are different from before...
And can get him to miss you once enough time has passed.
Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?
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The Way to Get Him to Miss You
Instead of thinking, "Will he miss me if I leave him alone?"...
You want to be thinking...
"How can I create the best impression in him towards me that will get him to miss me?"
Do you see the difference in the thought process here?
The key difference here is in understanding perception.
Perception is the KEY to getting back with your ex-boyfriend again.
Let me ask you a question...
What do you think was the perception your ex had of you before he got together with you?
Most likely it was positive right?
For example, when I ask my coaching clients what was the reason they thought their ex fell in love with them in the first place...
Here are some of the answers I got:
"I was very confident and was always there for him. I was always there for him He would always say that I made him happy. " "He said i was very thoughtful, kind and loving except when im jealous, i transform into a monster. He also said that i am the kind of girl who pays my own bill and not depend on her husband. Also, he appreciates that i cook for him and takes care of his needs when we were together. He said he misses the food i cook, how i serve him food on his bed, he misses how i care for him when he is sick."
Do you see how these responses show how positive they made their ex feel at the start?
You probably have similar responses that made your ex feel good when with you.
And that's why your ex got together with you in the first place.
Now, what do you think was the perception he had of you when he decided to break up with you?
Most likely negative right?
Negative feelings lead to unhappiness...
And sustained unhappiness in the relationship was what eventually led to the breakup.
When I asked my coaching clients what their ex disliked about them, here are some of the answers I got:
"I would get "controlling" when it came to him talking to other girls. I would start arguments and quarrels with him often." "He does not like me when im jealous and angry. Also he said he hates drama because i always end up pitying myself and justifying my mistakes. He also does not like me when i am emotional and mad because i am toxic. Sometimes he needs space but i kept on throwing hurtful words."
If you noticed, these are all negative character traits.
That means that any negative traits will lead to your ex feeling negative towards you.
Similarly, any positive traits will lead to your ex feeling positive towards you.
So now that you are aware of this, how do you get your ex to miss you?
Use the Recency Effect to Your Advantage
By now you should know that if you want your ex to miss you...
Then your last contact with your ex has to be a positive one.
How do you make your last contact positive?
By bringing out the positive character traits that let your ex fell in love with you in the first place.
So if he liked that you were always joyful and happy...
Then in your next contact with him, you want to deliberately let him perceive you as joyful and happy.
If he liked that you were thoughtful towards him...
Then you want to show that you are thoughtful towards him in your next contact with him.
And more importantly, on top of showing the good character traits that he liked about you...
You need to eliminate every single thing that he dislikes about you.
For example, if he disliked that you were always jealous and angry...
Then stop showing him that side of you.
And if he disliked that you were always questioning him and checking up on him...
Then stop asking him questions that will let him feel you are still the same as before.
Simply put - let him experience the positive side of you...
And eliminate all the negative side of you in your next contact with him.
Once you've done that, that will let him feel positive towards you again.
And once he feels positive towards you...
Leave him alone.
By leaving alone after you have built a positive perception in him towards you...
You are using the power of silence to get him to miss you.
And when times pass, that will increase your chances of getting him to miss you.
How do you know if he misses you?
If you've done everything right up to this point, he will reach out to you on his own.
That is the best sign that will show that he misses you.
Can you do me a favor?
Let me know in the comments below - Based on what you have read in this post, do you think your ex will miss you if you leave him alone?
Your Next Step
IMPORTANT: Before you try and get your ex back...
You need to first find out whether there's still any hope in trying to get your ex back.
The last thing you want to do is to chase a relationship that will never come to fruition again.
Click the image below to take a short 2-minute quiz to find out whether it's too late to get your ex back (it's free!):