How many of us have had times when we jumped to conclusions about
things? It is so easy to do in any sort of relationship. It happens so
often that it is probably ridiculous when we think about it. Kids do
it to other kids and adults do it too. Or sometimes kids get angry with
an adult because they may think they are talking about them when they
are talking about someone else.
And it is very often when we don't
know the whole story about something, when we find ourselves jumping to
conclusions. I finally talked with my ex boyfriend about a lot of
things and I am feeling terrible that I had jumped to conclusions and I
was wrong and things hadn't happened. I guess I am just lucky that I
haven't completely burned bridges and we are friends. And he's talking
to someone which shows me he is trying. That's good.
I think when
people jump to conclusions, we do have to own it when we realize things
weren't the way we thought they were. But you know it is so easy to do
at the time you see or hear things. You begin to put two and two
together and you think, hmmm.... this and this and this just doesn't
add up. WTF. And before you know it, you've flown off the handle and
are thinking the worst.
And usually when we do this, we act
first and think later. Isn't that the way? We don't think to sit down
with the person and ask all the questions. We start to talk and vent
and before you know it, you have landed into some trouble. In this
instance, it is important to fix what you can and try to just say sorry
and own it and hope for the best. You will either burn your bridges in
the process or there could be hope to salvage.
They also have to
know where you are coming from though too, because most of the time in
all these instances you aren't the only one who caused the problem.
There is usually some conflict from the other party too where maybe they
need to say sorry too. Especially in a relationship. Sometimes we
jump to conclusions about things because something important didn't
happen for us and your other half needs to realize why you acted the way
you did. Maybe you were angry and you felt your trust taken away and
the love got damaged and destroyed. Well, maybe not completely
destroyed, however there's now that dent in the can because he/she did
something to make you question their actions too.
I guess what
people need to do is rationally sit down together and discuss things,
hear both sides and then go from there how they want to solve an issue.
And
I will tell you honestly, closure feels so good. We just can't
sometimes just leave things with just a few things said and leave it at
that. It takes sitting down and listening to the whole thing and
learning to understand one another.
And if you can still be
friends, that's great. And if you want more, just give it time and see
what happens. If things are meant to be, it will happen.
Jennifer Jo Fay
Copyrighted October 24, 2012