Why I Take My Phone Everywhere

By Expatmum @tonihargis
So I'm not the most technical person. My I-phone has very few purchased Apps and possibly the smallest collection of music known to Apple. It's not synched with anything (that I know of) and until a quick tutorial from my neighbor yesterday, I was unaware of its ability to understand my voice and act accordingly. Sigh. 

But from now on it's never leaving my side.

See, the other day I locked myself in our downstairs loo (bathroom) with no phone and no means of getting out. Utter panic. Just utter panic. The door knob has been dodgy for some time, and ironically, the replacement had arrived in the mail that morning - only to be boxed straight back up because I had ordered Antique Brass instead of Unlaquered Brass so it didn't match the others. Can't have that now can we?

I hate these door knobs, but unfortunately they are all over the house and it would cost a ridiculous amount of money to change them all. Most of them aren't a problem because they're just door knobs, but a select few are privacy locks which look like this - 

See that little pin thing on the side of the rosette? You're supposed to push it in when you want to lock the door then pull it when you want out. Problem is, due to wear and tear, the pin now comes out in your hand. Most of the time we screw it back in and then it operates as it should. Yesterday however, although I screwed it back in, the knob itself continued to turn round and round without making any different to the locked-ness of the door.  

Ours is not one of those loos/bathrooms that houses everything but the kitchen sink (or bathroom sink in this case). Underneath, there's extra toilet paper, soap, tooth-brushing equipment and a towel. That's it. No point in even looking for anything to unscrew the entire look from the door, although the 12 year old swears blind that the implements to clean around his braces would have done the job! 

As I said, blind panic. The loo is in the basement and in the middle of the house, so no amount of shouting would have helped. (Did I mention I was alone in the house?) My husband was out of town (of course) and the 12 year old didn't have a key. All I could think of was that he would arrive at the front door, not get an answer and then not know what was going on. Of course, he would have phoned me but my phone would go unanswered, and he would have no idea what to do. And - he was the only other person due home that day. No sibs, no dad. Nothing. 

I spent a good few minutes trying to do the utmost damage to the door by pulling with full weight on the handle, to no avail. By this time I was shaking and in disbelief. A few more minutes of fiddling with the bloody pin and still nothing. Then, just as the tears were looking imminent, I gave the pin one petulant shove and it engaged, or clicked or something, and I was able to operate the locking mechanism. 

Such was my relief that I had to kneel on the floor for about five full minutes as my legs would simply not support me! I swear it took me a few hours to calm down, even after two cups of tea. 

Lessons learned - 

1. Carry your phone at all times

2. Give the 12 year old a key
3. Remind everyone where the hidden key is (with code for lock box)
4. Disable the latch thing on the door with three layers of duct tape
5. Tell everyone they have to sing loudly when using that loo!
Never again!