I know you are not used to long texts, but you will be rewarded with lots of pictures afterwards…
Both my father and my mother came from families where they were considered to be the black sheep. And that had a serious impact on their lives. They didn’t have the education they wanted to have. As a consequence, they didn’t have the career they dreamed of. They didn’t earn as much money as some other family members or neighbors or friends did. My mother, for example, loved languages and wanted to become a journalist. But her mother said “no”. And since my mother was a good daughter, she obeyed. She sacrificed her dreams and did what her parents wanted her to do: to become a “normal” wife and mother with a “normal” job. Did her mother love and appreciate her more? No, she didn’t…
It’s 45 years later… And I find myself in the biggest conflict ever with my parents. They don’t like the choices I have made in my life. When I chose to study languages at university so many years ago, my father didn’t speak to me during 3 days. When I wrote articles for an online movie magazine, they didn’t read any. They hated all my boyfriends. They didn’t like it when I moved to my first apartment and they actually moved 6 months later to live in the same street as I did. They didn’t – and still don’t – the way I dress. They hate the fact that I am a messy person. And that I don’t look posh.
And at the end of August of this year, they wanted me to make the ultimate sacrifice. I had to end my relationship with Lars, because they don’t like him and they are somehow convinced that he is a liar and a thief. I had to give up my job, because they don’t like the fact that I work with foreigners (especially Muslims and blacks). I had to give up my apartment in Brussels, because the Belgian capital is too far away from where they live (about 20 miles). And they don’t like Brussels anyway; it’s so dangerous and they are convinced that I am unhappy here. And last but not least, I had to live with them again. And look for a job with a really nice title and a very high salary, so that they could boast about it.
In short, they want me to live the life that they want. They want me to fulfill their dreams. The dreams that they could never fulfill. They would be so happy. Yes, I would become a “normal” person, with a “normal” job, where there are no foreigners. And I wouldn’t live in a “dangerous town” anymore. And – last but not least – they could control where I go and whom I see. They even had thought about the perfect man for me.
I said “no”. All my life, I had done everything to make them love me, to appreciate me, but it had never worked… During these 3 last years that I had lived with Lars, my parents had given us the impression that they actually did love us and did appreciate us, but on that sunny Friday afternoon in August, it all turned out to be a lie. When they made their demands clear, I had to choose between them and us.
As you may have guessed, I chose us. I broke contact with my parents. When he realized that they had been lying to him, Lars had a depression. I had to deal with feelings of guilt, sorrow, doubt, … This is the reason why we sometimes didn’t blog. Or why Lars reacted on all the comments instead of me. I was simply too tired… And confused… But soon we came to some very important conclusions.
We only have one life to live. And I know now that I simply can’t live the life my parents dream about. I simply can’t… I love Lars. I will never be the perfect housewife. Actually, I don’t want to. Lars doesn’t want me to. I will never wear posh clothes, because I don’t want to. I love my job. I love Brussels. And I love the way we travel. I love all my hobbies.
It has become clear that my parents can’t accept me the way I am. But is that supposed to be my problem? Sure, you have to respect your parents, but aren’t they supposed to respect their children and the choices they make as well? Why can’t they let me go and let me be me and be … happy? I don’t know.
What I do know is that Lars and I feel a lot better now. And that we can find love and appreciation with other persons, like our friends and Lars’s family. And that we love our way of life and traveling. Besides, I simply don’t see what we are doing something wrong! Or why my parents can’t be proud of me.
Lars and I will never be rich. Lars and I will never have a posh title or a big car or house. We won’t wear the latest fashion. Instead, we will live and cherish experience like these…
Discovering a beautiful castle near the sea in the Netherlands:
Seeing the wild horses again in Denmark:
Having a romantic walk around the castle of Nyborg, Denmark:
(Re)discover the Belgian artist Roger Raveel and the village where he lived:
See the Balaton Lake in very early spring:
Visit a cute Hungarian town …:
… and visit a buffalo farm:
Pop over to Bratislava:
See the colorful side of Brussels:
Hug some cows:
Admire the Brandenburger Tor early in the morning:
Check out some German canals:
Watch the sunrise in Flensburg:
Discover the beauty of Sluis (Netherlands):
Discover the other side of Kerteminde Fjord (Denmark):
See the bonfire being lit at Sankt Hans Aften in Denmark:
Watch a spectacular Danish sunset:
Start our big summer trip at a lake near Berlin:
Stare at the ceiling of a church in Gyor (Hungary):
Watching people having fun at a river in eastern Hungary:
Drive on the Transfagarasan in Romania:
Walk around in Sighisoara (Romania):
Dip my toe in Lake Ohrid in Macedonia:
Look in the Blue Eye in Albania:
Fine dining in the Albanian sky:
Spend an afternoon in Prizren in Kosovo:
And then another afternoon at the Bay of Kotor in Montenegro:
Become sad in Bosnia:
Discover a Jewish cemetery in Worms (Germany):
Trying to photograph one of Germany’s highest waterfalls in Triberg:
Stumble upon magnificent views in the French Ardennes:
Being overwhelmed by the beauty of the new wilderness in the Netherlands:
Experience autumn in Denmark:
Seeing a totally different Antwerp:
And see the cutest dogs at the Christmas market in Brussels:
Yes, 2013 has been a fantastic year! Let’s concentrate on the positive! Nobody can ever take these – and a lot of other – experiences away from us.
And the year isn’t over yet… Tomorrow we’ll be on the road in Germany!