Not me.
But New Zealanders evidently do.
Korin Miller reports for the New York Post, Aug. 7, 2015, the Green Man pub in Wellington, New Zealand, will soon serve a “milked” stout that features “export quality” deer semen, pub co-owner Steve Drummond told Stuff.co.nz.
This isn’t the first time the pub has served semen alcohol: In 2011, it offered apple-infused horse semen shots and sold syringes of deer semen in 2013.
There is even a a semen bartender’s handbook titled Semenology. The book’s jacket touts it as the “ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits. Driven by a commitment and passion for the freshly harvested ingredient, Semenology pushes the limits of classic bartending.”
Things I never wanted to learn: In addition to semen beer, there’s a cookbook, Natural Harvest, filled with “semen-based recipes for a mere $22.46. Author Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer writes in the book’s introduction: “Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a palatable texture and wonderful cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic.”
Thankfully, the book includes the following notice: “This cookbook is written for consenting diners of semen. Please do not add semen to your guests’ food without informing them beforehand.”
Korin Miller asks:
We have so many questions: Who comes up with this stuff? Why would anyone in their right mind buy any of these products, let alone consume them? And finally (and perhaps most importantly): How long will it take us to get to the nearest shower?
To the above I add:
Just what is wrong with people?
But then I remembered that a Planned Parenthood counselor advised a teenage girl to defecate and urinate on her sexual partner(s). The Untied [sic] States of America is no better than New Zealand. We’re worse.
H/t FOTM’s maziel
~Éowyn