I’m thinking right now about the year when Christmas was just not right. Something was missing. Actually someone was missing. Nobody saw it coming. It was the year my mom (aka Beazy) had died, just weeks before Christmas.
As my brothers, sisters and I scrambled to figure how/ or if we would navigate the holidays, there’s one thing I remember making the situation a little less terrible. It was telling Beazy stories, and realizing that even though our hearts were pretty well shattered, it was still OK to laugh.
Beazy was surely on Santa’s payroll. She had a way of creating holiday goodness- aromas, Christmas stockings and gingerbread people- like nobody’s business.
This year I decided to write her a letter.
Dear Mom- It’s Christmas week and there are a few things I hope I’ll never forget:
-your navy blue Honda screeching into the driveway with loud Christmas carols blaring & a wreath on the front. The Honda was filled with pecan tarts, gingerbread cookie dough, and naturally diet coke.
-the smocked Christmas dresses, and smocked jumpsuits- I mean, superhero outfits you made for the little boys.
– the monogrammed LLBean shirts you gave the sons and inlaw sons every year. Paul still wears his, hoping to be on the leading edge when they make a fashion comeback.
– the year the Olympics were in Atlanta, and all five kids and eleven grand kids got official Olympic outfits. Your Olympic volunteer uniform “skort” was the coolest.
– the year Amy “set up” her bedroom with 100% red lights; and you were so kind not to mention it looked like a brothel.
Mom, thanks for making Christmases crazy fun, and for loving all five kids the most.
Love, one of your favorites, Beth
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If you’re missing someone you love this holiday season, you are not alone. Besides remembering to laugh, there’s one more thing that made a giant difference for me. It was the day some dear friends prayed for me. They prayed that God would take some of the pain out of my heart. And He did.
I pray He will do the same for you, too.
God’s peace, my friends.
How can we pray for you this holiday season?
Please visit GriefSurvivor.com for encouragement through the holidays and beyond.
Beth Marshall, author of Grief Survivor~ 28 Steps toward Hope and Healing
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