Quite often in our lives, we end up in a marital relationship that we never really wanted or dreamt of being in. That single move leads to an endless saga of compromises, overreactions, mental trauma, physical abuse and frustrations that leaves us shattered and confused further. This happens particularly with couples where one partner demands uninterrupted attention and constant praising or admiration. In fact, this individual is almost always concerned about his/her well-being and refuses to take their partner’s feelings and needs into account.
Often, you will find that such a person is suffering from a superiority complex and feels that he/she should be given more importance than anyone else. On other occasions, you will find them insulting and howling at their partners and refusing to accept any sort of criticism that comes their way. In other words, they hate to see people disagreeing with them or even criticizing them for their ill-mannerisms or behavior.
Do you feel that you go through all of this and more every day? Are you finding it increasingly difficult to stand, let alone living with, such partners?
If yes, then perhaps your partner is suffering from NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder!
What is NPD?
People suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) consider themselves way too important than anyone else. In fact, you will always find them exaggerating their achievements, emotions, and feelings. They want their partners to always make them feel special and shower admiration their way. On some occasions, you will find them having unreasonable expectations of you. Such individuals exploit others and use them to fulfill their own needs. They lack empathy and suffer from a feeling of jealousy or may even assume that people are jealous of them. Their arrogant, rude and obnoxious behavior causes a great deal of mental trauma and irritation, leaving you unhappy, dissatisfied and in pieces.
NPD affects more men than women. In fact, as per several researches, it has been found that almost 6% of population suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
How to Cope With a Narcissistic Partner?
Is there really a way out with such a person? Or is your life doomed forever?
The answer to that question lies with you. In cases where such a person is your husband, wife, daughter or brother or any other close relation, breaking ties can be difficult. But, continuing in such a relationship can be equally difficult.
When your life partner is suffering from NPD, you will find it extremely tough to defend yourself and indulge in a verbal discussion (and argument) with such an individual. In fact, you will always lose the battle of words against them. On the other hand, even if you allow them to say things to you and keep quiet, you will end up losing your pride and yourself.
That’s exactly why most of the therapists recommend that you put an end to such an exhausting relationship.
However, if eliminating such an individual from your life is next to impossible, then use some of the tips listed below.
Tips for Dealing with a Narcissistic Person
Do you feel that you have started giving more importance to the words of such a person?
Have you lost your self-esteem and reached a point where you believe that this was the treatment you actually deserved?
If yes, then it’s time you consulted a therapist who can guide you and boost your self-confidence to help you better deal with your narcissistic partner.
Other steps that you can consider taking include:
- Not react to their comments or words and ignore their toxic behavior.
- Don’t try to win a battle where you know that you have a huge chance of losing against them. The best way out during such situations is to flatter them and say ‘hmmm’.
- Narcissistic people love being flattered and when you keep praising them you will almost always escape their harsh behavior.
- Become your own protector and always be more understanding, compassionate and accepting of yourself.
In the end remember, their behavior speaks volumes about their intrinsic nature and attitude than you. Many narcissists suffer from low self-confidence and consider themselves inadequate in many aspects of life. Given such a situation, you can seek professional help and take your partner to a therapist. But, if the individual is reluctant to accept that they have a behavioral problem, then continue to express you admiration towards them to escape all the mental and emotional traumas that they make you go through in everyday life. Finally, never lose your self-respect and integrity before a partner with NPD symptoms and problems.
-Puja Bhardwaj