What would you do if money was no object?
I have been asking this question of myself a lot lately. But I always come up against a road block in my mind. But money is the object…the necessity. Right? Therefore, it is very hard to imagine a life not driven by the need to make a decent living. I remind myself that life gets so much easier when I am receiving my weekly pay check. Back to my old favorite word, comfortable. I can buy the things I want, do the things I want. I can settle in.
But I guess this is what it comes down to really…all these things I want. Do I just desire them so badly to compensate for the 40 hours a week spent not living up to my potential. Does that fabulous new pair of shoes shine up at me from under my desk, reminding me why I nurture my computer whilst a day of sunshine is unfolding outdoors. My camera remains on the chest of draws at home, slumped and muttering. Feeling utterly rejected by the one who loves it so.
And am I truly any happier now than when I was an impoverished student, using my leftover student allowance for a bottle of passion pop and a packet of noodles at the end of the week. Ok, as unappealing as that sounds, I don’t think my actual happiness levels increased in proportion to my bank balance. My comfort levels increased markedly. And I possibly lessened my chances of developing scurvy when swapping the polystyrene cup for some fresh veges. But happiness and comfort do not always mingle graciously. I can only speak for myself, but in my world, comfort does not equal happiness and often I give up one for the other. In fact, it is the acts that epitomise uncomfortable that have given me joy. Falling in love is uncomfortable and unnerving, but wonderful. Changing jobs or careers can be terrifying, but exhilarating. Showing your true passions to the world; exposing yet freeing. Admitting true feelings or struggles to a close friend; vulnerable, but rewarding. Boarding a plane alone, to travel to a country so far from home and experience loneliness and isolation like never felt before; life changing.
I have shown my greatest initiatives whilst facing the possibility of prolonged unemployment. Of course I am not an advocate for this state of living, but I would like to become less afraid of it and become more able to take risks, follow my dreams and not fall into the complacency trap. So I guess to answer that dreaded question, you have to understand what it is that gets you up in the morning. What would you sacrifice comfort for.
A good friend said to me ‘you can tell a lot about someone by the books they read’. After he said this I examined my own book collection. Lonely planets for countries I was yet to visit, but wanted to. Cookbooks. Poetry and essays by some of the most famous writers of all time, and autobiography after autobiography. Books about risk-takers and unsung heroes. People chasing dreams and liaising with failure. And tucked at the back of the shelf, a book about New Zealand history and the arrival of Captain Cook.
So what will I do if money stops being my object?
If my book collection is anything to go by, travel, writing, food and interesting and open people will line my coat. But to be honest, I don’t know yet. I’m still discovering. However, it is the search that is proving to be the biggest adventure of all. It is the slip between comfort and adventure and back again that is keeping life so curious. I may be wandering, but I am ambling forward at least, instead of standing still.
Maybe I will become a modern day Captain Cook. But instead of discovery faraway lands and navigating high seas. I am discovering and navigating the world as we know it today. Maybe that is my purpose, to construct maps of our modern society through journalism. To voyage to far reaching places and document them from my own perspective.
Funny how so many years have gone by and yet our plight remains the same. To discover and to leave a legacy, all whilst trying to avoid scurvy and stumble across a few shillings every now and again for a new pair of durable, yet stylish black leather shoes.
Much love XX
See vid above sent to me by a new reader :)