What We Do:
We wait for you at a designated tube stop
We take you on a walking tour in exchange for £9 (or £7 concession)
Er… that’s it
What We Don’t Do:
• We don’t answer your call after two rings with an automated message that says your call is important to us (but not actually important enough to answer) • We don’t explain that your call may be recorded for training/security purposes • We don’t ask you to pick one of a list of 9 options • We don’t say that your call is in a queue • We don’t say “bear with me” while we prepare to "enter your details in the system" • In fact we don’t say “bear with me.” Ever • We don’t ask for your postcode/zip code • We don’t ask for the number of the house in which you live • We don’t ask if the billing address is the same as your home address • We don’t put you on hold if it isn’t • We don’t play Vivaldi while you’re on hold • We don’t play The Cuckoo Waltz while you’re on hold • We don’t play Enya while you’re on hold • We just don’t put you on hold • And so it follows that we never say “Thanks for holding” • We don’t explain that there’s a booking fee • We don’t explain that’s there’s a handling fee for the booking fee • We don’t explain that the handling fee is subject to a processing surcharge • We don’t ask for your credit card details. That’s the big, long number across the front • We don’t ask what kind of credit card you have • We don’t, at this late juncture, then say: “I’m sorry we don’t take Diners Club” • We don’t ask you for the security code on your credit card. That’s the three digit number above the strip on the back where your signature is. Found it? No, the back of the card… found it? Good. No, we don’t ask you for that. • We don’t ask for your telephone number just in case the booking goes wrong or the walk has to be cancelled • We don’t ask for your email address to confirm the booking • We don’t ask you to please hold while your card goes through… please bear with me… should only be a second… system’s slow today… bear with me… right, that’s going through now… no, hang on… sorry about this… come on, come on… oh. Oh dear. That hasn’t happened before. Can you hold, please? • We don’t then cut you off while you’re holding
To recap:
What We Do:
We wait for you at a designated tube stop We take you on a walking tour in exchange for £9 (or £7 concession) Er… that’s it A London Walk costs £9 – £7 concession. To join a London Walk, simply meet your guide at the designated tube station at the appointed time. Details of all London Walks can be found at www.walks.com