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You may not be facing the same dangers Dr. King did. But in January we make New Year’s resolutions and find the courage to engage our willpower. Who hasn’t, at one time or another, put eat less or work out more at the top of their ‘to do’ list?
Willpower is a strength we all have. It’s like a muscle that needs to be exercised. And the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Here are some ideas about how to build yours:
Find role models. Spend time with others who understand what you need in order to get what you want. Gravitate toward those who are allies and share your goals. Believe it or not, you can actually ‘catch’ self-control.
Reduce stress. Under pressure, you can become irritable or frustrated. Try to tackle the more difficult jobs earlier in the day. And get enough sleep. If your brain is tired, it has a harder time resisting temptation.
Reframe challenges. Turn the negatives into positives and see them as something you want to - not have to - do. Practice testing yourself first by making small changes. And then reward that, not with dessert but with a ticket to the theater or a day at the spa.
Studies show that powerful memories and positive thoughts about what you value can enhance willpower. Self-control problems occur when you’re caught up in the moment and distracted from your goals. You may want to look good in a bathing suit next summer but you’re looking at a piece of apple pie now. Thinking about values moves you away from present pleasures toward long term gains.
So start small as you strengthen your mental muscle in your quest for self improvement. Plan to go to the gym one day a week or give up just one food. You’ll find that you increase your self-control. And in the process, like Dr. Martin Luther King, you’re building character and willpower reserve for the bigger challenges ahead.