What to Do If You’re a Republican Over the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Weekend

The cover art for the Sex Pistols' God Save the Queen: Republicans to a fault The background So the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee is almost upon us, and the nation is rejoicing. Well, most of the nation, that is. What do you do if you’re a republican? Sulk, seems to be the answer from some commentators; others say enjoy the fun whilst you can – but learn your lessons from the pomp and pageantry. “But if the very idea of monarchy diminishes us, the living reality is even more humiliating. What are we doing paying homage to the unimpressive personages invested with this awe?” scowled Polly Toynbee in The Guardian. Don’t be such a spoilsport Katherine Butler’s heart went out to her fellow republicans in The Independent. But she did say that you’d probably have to be “completely devoid of curiosity, or humour,” not to attend an offer of tea at the Queen’s house? Butler went to a garden party, expecting “long queues” – but instead it was a “highly dignified event,” with security “in the hands of aging toffs.” The tea was “worth the journey.” Naturally, there were reminders of “class and hierarchy.” Republicans must learn their lessons from the monarchy Philip Collins in The Times was less forgiving. “Where are the bureacratic killjoys when you need them, banning fun on the grounds of health and safety?” He said that people who like the monarchy are “misleadingly stupid,” gushing about tourism. What we’re actually doing is “celebrating the silence of a Queen who has never given an interview.” But probably, the monarchy will survive, even with unpopular monarchs, as it has done, since in celebrating the Queen, we celebrate ourselves. It’s a “deeply held” intuition about our ancestry that has been “embodied in the dignified form of the Queen.” Republicanism must learn from it. It needs “its own patriotic street parties.” What are we celebrating anyway? Killjoy Polly Toynbee in The Guardian was at it again. The Jubilee is “outrageously glorious” so therefore “preposterous.” At the center of “all this pomp and circumstance, is the great emptiness, the nothingness, the Wizard of Oz in emperor’s clothes.” She wondered what exactly we were celebrating: an “undistinguished family’s hold on the nation.” Why do we pay homage to these “unimpressive personages?” They’re the “apogee of celebrity culture.” The royal line has shown nothing in terms of intellectual ambition. “If royals have any value, they are the living, breathing negation of the myth of genetic superiority.” Loosen up, folks! The Daily Express’ leader suggested that those republicans should “abandon their dour politicking” for the weekend and just enjoy the party. Weather for the jubilee weekend not looking so hot, god must be a republican. — James Thrift (@DorsetMacMan) June 1, 2012