It’s time for another installment of our “What In God’s Green Earth” series where we mock ridiculous-sounding #MysteryIngredients! Note in this Apple-Flavoured beer below that “apples” are not listed anywhere as an ingredient, but there apparently are “Natural Apple Flavours.” Just apparently not the kind that come from apples. So we offer the following…
3 Sarcastic Definitions We Suggest For “Natural Apple Flavours”
1. “What someone’s sweat might taste like after you lick it off their Apple Sport Watch band, after they’ve been drinking too much apple-flavored beer.”
2. “You know when you buy grape juice, or basically any juice, and the main ingredient is ‘apple juice’ and then the grapes are listed at the end of the ingredient list behind water, sugar, pear juice, and other cheap juice blends? Well, this is for when ‘apples’ are considered too high-brow.”
3. “Hey, you know when you buy rotisserie chicken at your grocery store, and the label says ‘may contain shellfish’ and you’re all like ‘How can they accidentally get shellfish in chicken?’ Well nobody might have even accidentally got apples in this.”