Welcome To the Retirement Center – Home Of Professional Nappers

By Friday23

Napologists, that’s us, the residents of the Sharon Gardens Retirement Home. We are specialists in the art of the sudden nap, the instant drop-off, the unplanned forty winks and the unannounced doze. We do it wherever and whenever, with no forewarning. One moment we are side by side with you, deep in a serious conversation and next moment, three seconds into your response to our last sentence, we are gone, eyes closed, breathing heavily and minus all those craggy lines on our faces as we sink into a peaceful snooze and take a break from the hullabaloo of 2012.

We feel no guilt at our sudden evaporation and we are not ashamed of our behavior. We just know what 40 or 140 vital seconds can do for you. Have you never been surprised at the strong come back we make on our return from Napland? It’s the snooze that refreshes, that keeps us Golden Agers on our toes and allows us to deal with all the young traffic swirling around us, with their noisy and interruptive electronic assistants.

There was a time when I was guilty about napping on the job or in the conversation or in the middle of a critical point of a TV program. All that’s behind me. In my golden years I have earned the right to drop off occasionally.

According to snooze professionals the nap should be no more than 30 minutes. Longer than that, your body will want to sleep till morning. Extended naps cause grogginess. Better to set your alarm clock and keep it short. You should also take your nap about the same time each day. Very funny – if I could control the times of my naps I would be able to control the world.