We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year’s Eve Party.
We turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. Then we phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.
The taxi arrived. Just as we were opening the front door to leave the house, the cat we had put out in the back yard, scoots past our legs back into house.
So my wife goes out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the
house will be empty for the night. So she explains to the taxi driver
that I will be out soon, “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”
A few minutes later, I get into the cab.
“Sorry I took so long,” I said, as we drove away. “That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!”
The cab driver hit a parked car.
H/t FOTM’s maziel
~Éowyn