We’re co-sleeping again because I missed it so much Harry has a pack mentality? I don’t know, he got sick a couple of weeks ago and him sleeping by himself went out the window. His crib is at the end of our bed - it’s not like he’s in solitary, but I digress.
Each night feels like I’m fighting to survive. It’s like I’m being tortured for secrets. My kid’s going to be a CIA interrogator when he grows up.
A few of his moves:
- The Freefalling Headbutt: You gotta move quick (from a sound sleep) to avoid this one. He pulls up into a kneeling position then falls forward. The kid’s got a dead aim for being mostly asleep.
- The Scream: There you are, enjoying a nice REM cycle when OH-MY-GOD-IS-THERE-AN-AXE-MURDERER-IN-THE-ROOM!?!? No, that’s just Harry and his unprovoked bloodcurdling scream millimeters from your face. Carry on.
- The “Doin’ tha Butt”: Oh, you don’t like having more than 2.83 inches of this King mattress to sleep on? Harry can help by nudging his bum into you until you scoot over to your undesired comfort level.
There are many more, but you get the idea.
I have one little move of my own - The “Mommy Doesn’t Love Me” - all I have to do is turn over in my sleep away from him and oh my fucking God you’d think he was never going to see me again in his life from the level of meltdown. So my move backfires.
I keep saying he won’t be co-sleeping when he’s 12, so there is an end in sight. But deep down sometimes I wonder…