Verbal Abuse Exposed

By Therealsupermum @TheRealSupermum

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Verbal abuse is still abuse. It’s abuse in the form of words. Don’t assume that a few hurtful words won’t cost them their life. Words hurt.

Verbal abuse involves just as much hurt and damage as punches, slaps or kicks do. Words are used in a way to attack you, control you and hurt you.  An abusive relationship goes so much deeper than someone just being mean or angry, they are emotionally abusing you and this type of behaviour is damaging in so many ways.

Many women believe that because their partner does not physically harm them, they are not in an abusive relationship. Verbal abuse is abuse, full stop.  If your partner is verbally abusive towards you, that you feel threatened, emotionally drained and are hurt or feel afraid by their angry outbursts, then your relationship is an abusive one.

Verbal abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, just with any type of abuse, there are no rules.

When we refer to verbal abuse we cover a wide range of behaviours including;  rages out of control, sudden angry outbursts, name calling and put downs .

Words are used to break your happiness and shatter your dreams. When we are verbally abused we lose our spirit and begin to loose self-esteem and our confidence.

Insults play a huge part in verbally abusive relationships, with the victim falling prey to negative comments that over time they start to believe they deserve.

Verbal abuse is always about control.

You will often find the abuser is very clever with their manipulation tactics, once they know they have hurt you that too will be your fault; you’re far too sensitive, you take everything to heart and it was only a joke. You are left feeling even more confused.

Nobody who verbally abuses you cares for you or truly loves you. Your abuser knows what they are doing.

It is true that psychical abuse often follows verbal abuse, but this is not always the case.  Verbal abuse alone is enough to create long term effects on the victim.

In every relationship we will face arguments, they play a healthy part in a loving relationship as they allow us to voice our own opinions and clear the air, but there is a major difference between a healthy argument and an abusive relationship.

Is everything always your fault? Does your partner respect your views and listens to you? Will your partner compromise even though they strongly disagree with you, because they know how much it means to you?

In verbally abusive relationships, there will never be an issue to resolve as your perpetrator uses abuse as the reason to rein down their attacks. No problems will ever be solved; your feelings and views are not wanted. Your worthless and useless and deserve everything you get, that’s how your abuser feels towards you and as long as you fall victim to their abuse, you will never be made to feel anything else.

Verbal abuse is emotionally painful and draining, often resulting in sheer confusion at how quickly their abuser can change the game, changing from anger to affection, anything to try to make you see things from their point of view, do you think they actually like being this way, why do you have to argue with everything they say. You make them so mad that they explode. Again this is your entire fault, are you now the one who feels guilty? There is no guilt at the hands of your abuser.

As in any abusive relationship you may find yourself isolated and alone, cut off from the outside world and away from family and friends. Your abuser is the only one who really loves you, why do you need anyone else but them? Your abuser comes first, before your friends or even your family.

Words hurt and verbal abuse causes mental scars and just because emotional scars can not be seen does not mean they are not visible and you will carry these scars with you for the rest of your life, I still carry mine six years later. They can be healed with professional guidance but they do not fade nor heal while you stay in an abusive relationship, they only grow and stretch until breaking point is reached and that is a point you desperately need to prevent.

Physical abuse hurts the bones and body while verbal abuse hurts the mind and the spirit; both are as powerful as each other.