Urine Detectors Coming To Subway System Elevators… We’re Sure That People Won’t Just Start Urinating In The Free Newspaper Boxes!

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

CNN reports that Atlanta is installing urine detectors in subway system elevators, which will set off an alarm, and lead to the arrest of elevator-urinators!

3 More Things We’d Like To See Installed In Subway Systems

1. Bathrooms! We bet that may be a less costly way to solve elevator-urination epidemics than fancy technology and court proceedings. Especially in cities with subway stops at sports stadiums or stations that look like medical labs.

2. Elevators featuring the “Stand Clear Of The Closing Doors, Please” New York subway announcement. That’s totally value for your money, New York, as the message applies to elevators, too!

3. Rat detectors. If you’ve seen the size of New York city rats, you know those things are totally going to eat any elevator urine detectors, ruining 100 years of subway elevator-urine-prevention technological progress.