Sometimes I feel bad for casual readers. They get really excited that I’m reviewing the 1996 disaster hit Twister, and then they get this. I hate to break it to you, but this is not really a review. As a blind film critic, I’m constantly challenging companies to provide more accessibility, especially where it makes sense. As companies continue to increase their prices, rather unwarranted since they really aren’t delivering more expensive content, the question I have is will it result in more accessibility? what are you going to do for me when I already pay more for a service that has only a tiny fraction of titles available with audio description?
Twister is on MAX, which is Warner Bros, which is the studio currently proud of the success of Twisters in theatres. You would think someone at WBD would have thought to themselves, “maybe we should make the previous film accessible since there will be renewed interest?” That’s expecting a lot from WBD, apparently, which is following a trend most companies make of starting audio description halfway through a series, or with later sequels.
I see this all the time, and it is just straight up fuckery. There’s no way around this. Certain studios are known for certain franchises, and certain brands are still alive, but to attract new fans most people like to watch the films that came before. Could you imagine jumping into the MCU right now? If Deadpool and Wolverine was the first MCU or MCU adjacent project you watched, I’m sure you felt very alone.
There’s a new Alien film coming out in August. Disney/Fox should really make a point of having the whole franchise ready and accessible for new fans.I’m old enough to have a kid in college, and I wasn’t alive when the first Alien came out. If the box office isn’t great for the new Alien film, perhaps it could have been better if blind people born since the Ridley Scott classic had access to all the Alien films.
I mention this, because right now, MAX is trying to get me to watch Beetlejuice, right before long awaited sequel hits theatres Labor Day weekend. Put some fucking audio description on it you lazy bastards. Audio Description isn’t even that expensive, and if a film is so popular that you feel vindicated in making a sequel to it 36 years later, then that’s a pretty good evaluation of how to spend your money wisely.
So, of course Twister is unwatchable. I could be a nice guy, and talk about my memories of this, but that would be letting MAX off the hook. This is a film that is about the disaster that is a tornado, and the devastation left in its wake. that just does not translate without audio description. The sad part in all this, is that I own this on BluRay, but since studios are shockingly inconsistent even with physical media, I own a paperweight.
I’d love nothing more than to gush about the late Bill Paxton, and Philip Seymour Hoffman, but Warner Bros just doesn’t want me to do that. Accessibility matters. I’m not picking obscure titles. Twister made 242 million domestically in 1996. That’s a lot of money to say it hasn’t earned the right to be accessible. that’s a lot of cash to roll around in, and turn your head whenever accessibility is mentioned.
I want companies, distributors, streamers, etc., to all make a broader commitment in 2024 to meaningful quality accessibility for their subscribers that pay the same as everyone else, and consistently get the short end of the stick. There is absolutely no reason for this film to exist right now, with all the attention around Twisters, to not be accessible.
Sorry, I just don’t buy it.
Final Grade: Unwatchable