Friend: Thank you for reading my question on your show – I heard alot of truth in all your answers xo
Clark: Awe
Anything else? And again thank you so much for asking a question…
Friend: Some tears as I listened ultimately I know it is my truth I am avoiding – I am trying my hardest to build a relationship with someone who is wonderful but is not my twin & the more I walk this path the more I am moving away from my truth but honestly I don’t feel brave enough to leap, yet every day energetically I feel the pull. I have tried healing sessions with a wonderful healer to try & figure out the source of my pain but as yet I have no true source. It has made me stop doing healing on others bc I feel my purpose here is to assist others to their truth – if I cannot do this for myself first, how can I be of example to another?
Clark: You no longer make it a choice to be an example by speaking about what it is that wakes you… You go inside yourself and allow your actions to show them in your self in being! This is how you guide my dear one… You have this beautiful love inside you that is going to birth you into pain to show you how.. You make this choice in the NOW
Friend: So I wait, for the pain to surface & rebirth me?
Clark: This pain is yours to call to my friend… It is not anyone else’s…. We will stand with you and hold you through it… that is what twins are here to do.. What you find on the other side will be more beautiful than you imagined… You can see it in the now it is NOW to experience it!
Friend: I don’t know how to reach that pain love, when I think of it I cry so ofc it is there but when I try to go into it, it disappears and all I feel is emptiness!
Clark: Perfect! Stop there….What is the emptiness my friend? Is it peace? Do you deserve to feel peace?
Friend: No it isn’t peace it is nothing, a void, I no longer feel anything. The tears dry up but I feel no love either it is empty, In those moments I have asked to be shown but I get nothing, the void remains
Clark: My friend…. Have you ever been to space? Or how about looked into the sky and saw space, the universe as it were? When you look out do you see space to be.. or space that is confined to what this nothing is in the sky?
Friend: Space to be infinite that’s what I see – I feel beyond what I see!
Clark: That is nothing is it not? This is the space created that is inside you to see the truth about your pain… this nothing is your love and it is vast… As you translate the word used here which is “nothing” where in truth it is “everything” You will not seek the mind in this place you will seek the peace that is there that is unshakable.. why not dive into nothing to experience everything?
Friend: I understand, within the void is the peace I search for – when ATM all I see is nothing. How tho do I transpose that into joy in my life? I believe it comes down to my worth – or lack of self worth. When I know I am not in my truth entirely it makes me feel unworthy of love and praise for the person & healer I am. I feel dishonest…yet my twin returning to his marriage seemingly closed that door of truth for me if that makes sense – I am not angry at him but I feel we have abandoned our truth in doing so!
Clark: When you reach this inside the pain you experienced you come out of it holding deeply to the present moment… it is showing you the beauty that it is.. the choices you are inside of this love you have felt in your presence… The power of your presence is this awakening… You may find yourself smiling as though an infant who just came into the world.. and then when the thoughts try to translate it, watch your thoughts as though a mouse would a piece of cheese on a trap… don’t fall out of this.. pay attention to experience the world from the new eyes that nothing is wanting you to experience! This is how rebirth happens… When you were born into the world you did this without thinking.. and the pain is wanting you to see this now.. You will be able to reprogram your thinking in this way.. It is not seeking a sense of self in thought it is seeking its way into being beyond it!
Friend: That is very inspiring to read ️
Clark: Self worth is measured by what you give yourself first, not what another can give to you.. It is mind made way of being, which started long before your twin was to cross your path the first time or second time or however it came into being.. This is how it is translated from a former experience of what pain you experienced and now are seeing it clearly… yet it being in front of you as it were.. It is like you lost your car keys for a car you no longer own… So you go with the car you got now and can’t find the keys for it either… this is not a truth.. it is a symptom that your mind has found a way to identity with a mental history of abandonment… that abandonment can be absorbed. You no longer make this about him or the connection to him for you can’t connect to him or anyone else until you connect to yourself… do you see where this points?
Friend: So it is to feel my “I AM” presence beyond what my thoughts stipulate must be my presence – to know I am beyond thinking why I am?
Clark: You are infected with thinking… it is not your essence as you go into the pain and find nothing it is undiscovered by you to create the energy you are in truth until you stay there to create the love you are in truth!
You are beautiful… You are love… You are everything… You are nothing… this is a truth your energy is derived from a place of no mind.. why make the mind responsible for the truth of where you are this already!
This is always available to you in the NOW
ever driven someone where and were infected with thinking only to realize you didn’t pay attention to holding the steering wheel… haven’t heard anything on the radio… didn’t see the other drivers driving… didn’t see the position of the sun… didn’t see the dog on the side of road watching you go past… do you see everything?
Friend: Yes, When I was training with my mentor his favorite line to me was “get out of your head ” lol infected is true. I am confused a little – in layman terms when I reach that place of emptiness, I should stay there and allow myself to just feel? Is that what u are saying?
Clark: What is empty can be filled is this not a fact?
You are not your thoughts… You are more… Do you think that or did you feel that?
Friend: The driving analogy happens to me all the time I am always “off with the fairies” so to speak… Hmmm I feel I am more – why does that upset me? I cry when I feel this!
Clark: fairies or the voice in the head? Ever felt your heart beat so strong you had to place your hand on your chest? Does it happen all the time?
You cry because you don’t embrace this feeling you abandon it by thinking… what purpose has thinking shown you?
Friend: I just go somewhere not of here, where connection to everything is more pure – I feel and am oblivious to my surroundings!
Clark: Why not connect to all your surroundings…
Friend: Bc it doesn’t feel pure It feels earthly and awkward and draining.
Clark: What does?
Friend: My surroundings When I go off – I’m in a happy place – when I connect to my surroundings that happiness goes away and I feel heavy and drained!
Clark: what view do you have in this? what makes you happy?
Friend: When I go to my happy place often I feel connected to nature, I am noticing my surroundings but I am only allowing the beauty of it to penetrate me…when I “come back down” as it were it is usually bc someone is trying to talk to me or get my attention and I feel irritated It’s like I walk in two worlds – I know that sounds weird. Going back to what you said about not embracing the feeling of being more – it’s almost like it terrifies me, the feeling of being more – like I am scared of it – I cannot understand why, I am scared of standing out alone, I am scared of judgement, of failure Please do tell me if you don’t have time to chat, I appreciate everything you have given me to consider so far
Clark: I am here, you are still seeking the energy of thinking vs being… what gives you peace what gives you love my friend?
Friend: Helping other people, nature, being understood, making a difference!
Clark: Do you give this to yourself as well? The truth is You make a difference my friend… You make a difference in everything!
Friend: When (my twin) and I separated, we use to meet up once a month and walk through the bush – just walking together, the birds actually stopped to speak to us (I know that sounds crazy) we just walked as one and every issue, every concern disappeared – all that there was was love, no expectations, no right or wrong – and it was the most peace I have ever experienced I cannot seem to find that peace without him – I know I can, but I don’t know how!
Clark: My friend… a cardinal flew up to me when I was driving today… it went right to a tree turned around and tilted his head to me… I felt it.. I knew the conversation we had and why we had it… I am on path… it is -8 degrees here.. the snow is everywhere and it is beautiful… Why does moments to include this one, not concealed with a stronger message no matter what it is? It is not weird, it is connected in deeper communication that needs no thought!
Friend: Yes exactly that is what we experience – and yes both of us have said that alone if we go to the ocean or walk in nature we can experience something close to it again too – but in my everyday life it eludes me, and honestly – that love, that peace, that joy is what I miss more than us being united. I crave it
Clark: When you find the peace you find the flame that is burning.. then when you are burning brightly it will only spark your twin to do the same.. it doesn’t happen without this very thing… The blue flame is then called to inside of you to ignite…
when you find that place where you can experience this without him is where you will burn brightly… it isn’t about him it is about what is in you this is the connection in how we connect in ourselves to connect to our twin
Friend: I feel the truth in that – I know the peace I search for must be found by myself alone and this is what separates us – the journey of discovery of this. I think that is why I crave it so bc I know it is the answer – I guess I am looking everywhere but within to find it huh
Clark: smh… Not alone.. Never Alone …. At one with the universe which is never alone!
no separation just embracing a connection that is deep within you
Friend: Did u do this through meditation or just taking more time out for yourself in nature?
Clark: I cried in pain my friend… a pain of what my truth was… I stood naked in the truth before everyone.. I didn’t hide even those I hurt that I ran from.. I faced all things ended and faced the place of pain that it caused.. I embraced it all.. with forgiveness of myself first…
Friend: You woke one day and just faced it all – spilled your truth like a dam bursts its walls? And just stood there feeling it all?
Clark: Yes the freeing truth is always painful and I cried and when I cried so hard one night I fell into a deep serenity of peace… I had lost everyone… To include both the women on this earth that could ever give me and all my lies covering the truth unconditional love… I faced the annihilation of it!
Friend: Ah I see
Clark: For 60 days I cried and cried and cried some more… but the more I cried the more everything I had done and the pain I caused showed me to let go… to forgive… to know what the truth in forgiveness was!
do you know what forgiveness is my friend to yourself?
Friend: That is what happened when we separated, I hit that point – and I did come out of it as you said with a rebirth – unimaginable joy even in sorrow – but it has all gone – I have built myself a life of sandcastles again!
Clark: Do you know what the truth in forgiveness is to yourself my friend? Is it the typical forgive but don’t forget! How does that sound anyway?
Friend: I don’t even understand what it is to forgive myself.
Clark: That’s what’s missing my friend… that is why it keeps coming back!
your history can’t be shown in a life review from your guides without this.. It removes the conditions you have on yourself and what you will transmit to others…
Friend: So how do I even begin to comprehend what it means to forgive myself – honestly I can’t even connect to that thought or feeling.
Clark: Sure you can…. start with the beginning…. when was the first time you can recall in your mind that you abandoned yourself or were abandoned by someone who loved you deeply… from the very beginning and what did that pain say to you? what did that pain create in you?
Friend: Please do excuse me if I disappear, I am at work and if a customer comes in I will need to go, but I wanted to thank you for everything you have gifted me thus far<3 I have been through my memories trying to recall abandonment – and it always brings up a feeling of unworthiness in me like somehow I wasn’t good enough and that is why I felt abandoned
Clark: Who made you feel unworthy?
Friend: Friends at school
Clark: What about your parents?
Friend: My sister and our cousin
Clark: Was your father emotionally available to you?
Was your mother emotionally available to you?
Friend: My parents are very loving, but have always punished us by excluding us i.e. if you do something wrong you are given the silent treatment whilst the other 2 kids get alot of love and attention!
Clark: Ok stop there my friend!
You were excluded from things and then given silence in punishment… What did you tell yourself inside when this would happen?
Friend: That I wasn’t good enough!
Clark: Did your parents tell you this?
Friend: No – it would be blah blah blah lecture on what we did wrong, then silent treatment whilst the other kids got loved up & they would smirk at you, I have a fear of doing things wrong not trusting myself!
Clark: So you told yourself a lie which was… I am not good enough… I am not worthy of love…. I am “insert” what you say here… Do you see in what it is that you need to forgive to release and heal your pain.. And then embrace the truth in forgiveness… When will you give yourself permission to give yourself the love that you didn’t receive and become your truth!
Friend: So I told myself the lie that I wasn’t good enough – and that is what has hurt me all this time?
Clark: You had unconditional love from your parents and yet experienced conditions that you placed on yourself… what did this? Your thinking!
Friend: Did u know my name means “worthy of love” it’s like it was the lesson I was born into!
Clark: Yes… and it is conditioned to be there when things don’t work out!
Friend: HOLLY CRAP!!! That makes a whole lot of sense, lol I am laughing at myself right now loll My thinking perpetuated my pain by thinking things that were untrue, telling myself lies so that if things didn’t work out I had something to blame
Clark: My friend… it goes deeper… into that space of nothing… you aren’t opening your eyes because your mind has still skewed you to the truth in seeing this as a means of survival of the same pain you experienced… In this remove your lies… one at a time.. as you feel pain, seek the lie in it… confront your lies.. tell your parents what you would say inside… reclaim your love in truth! Yes, some seem to say your emotional body is separate than your thinking mind.. Which in truth your thinking is the reason you emotional body becomes effected in what it says as a way of being… this is not the truth!
Friend: I could never understand why when I know my parents love me so much, why I felt such pain about my childhood – I even wrote them a letter when I was 9 telling them I didn’t feel loved. I was not a brat, not in a materialistic sense, but I honestly felt unloved no matter what they did
Clark: This is the truth in finding your truth on the rocky path… Breaking the laws of conditions that have held you from yourself to cement any connection when you are truly in this truth.. True love in truth finds true love.. Do you see how that is the truth?
Love deeply
Clark