I don't feel like an administrator. But I suppose that's to be expected after 16 years of being fully entrenched in a classroom. I suppose it's also because I have spent the majority of my first week researching and getting up to speed on what's already been happening in my new district rather than administrating in any capacity.
However, I do know that in my new position I will have to really hone my systems thinking, as trying to get a handle on the curriculum, instruction, and assessment of a K through 12 district will be a big job, a job with a lot of moving parts that may or may not be working together to help students achieve real learning and real understandings. Part of my job, I have been told, will be to review all of these moving parts and evaluate their effectiveness.
Another part of my job will be to help teachers reshape how students are doing some of their learning, not only in terms of what the Common Core requires but also in terms of what is best teaching and learning practices. I am intensely excited about this; I know it won't always be easy, but what's easy for us isn't always what's best for students. That's a lesson I learned over and over again in the course of my many years of classroom teaching.
But I will also admit that I am more than a little scared. This new role is far outside of my comfort zone. I was firmly nestled in that zone for 12 years at my former job, being well acquainted with my co-workers, my administration, and the students in my classroom.
I am entering into a world with a lot of unknowns. As I sat in my new office on Tuesday, I felt much like I do in mile two of the half-marathons and marathons I run. That's about the time when I start internally freaking out, panicking about being there, feeling as if I'm crazy to do this, that I don't belong there, that I will never make it. And then I have to talk myself off the edge of the cliff, telling myself it will be alright, that I can do this, and to trust my training.
I had to tell myself on Tuesday that it was just my comfort zone calling me. I had to remind myself of the advice I always gave to my students to not fear failure or the unknown, that failure (and often lots of it) is the only way you can succeed at anything worth doing. I had to trust the 16 years of training I've had in my classroom trying to put into practice what makes sense for students to learn on their own, to do their best learning.
I'm sure I will make mistakes. But I'm also sure I'll learn a lot from the process as well. And it's that learning that I want to continue to share on this blog, along with all of the cool and crazy stuff teachers are doing in their classrooms--because there's a lot of great stuff happening in classrooms already in my new district that is just waiting to be shared.