Yes, indeed, today I can reveal to you all, in the strictest confidence, of course, that in a private ceremony later I will be awarded the Long Service and Good Conduct Medal by one of the most distinguished ladies in the realm - no, no, not Her, I mean the 'Memsahib'! Yes, today is my 50th wedding anniversary, fifty long years before the mast with never a word of complaint, just long and dutiful service - God, I'm good!
I think it is fair to say that fifty years ago none of our friends at the time thought it would last more than a couple of years, indeed, on the basis of marital statistics back in those 'swinging sixties', I didn't think so either. But somehow, in someway, it did - and it does. So tonight, people, where-ever you are, please raise a glass and toast the one who steered this marriage so surely for so long, the incomparable, patient, sensible and above all, adorable - MEMSAHIB!
(Er, make mine a double!)