A friend of mine, Hannah, shared a post on Facebook today that inspired me to write for the blog. The post read,
Never forget three types of people in your life:
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Who helped you in difficult times.
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Who left you in difficult times.
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Who put you in difficult times.
It amazes me how easily I can identify these three types of people in MY life. I understand how having this mentality can make me appear… like a grudge holder maybe? I am not sure of the word I am searching for at the moment. I think you know what I mean, though.
People always preach how we should forgive people, move forward, and move on. I absolutely agree with that. However, I do believe we should never forget how we were treated in our lives. Isn’t that what experience is all about? We go through difficult times, learn from it, and make changes to prevent it from happening again? In order to prevent the problems from returning, we can’t just get a case of amnesia and act as though it never happened.
Here is a lame, but simple example: If an ex-boyfriend cheated on me in the past… I would forgive him. No doubt about that. But, would I date him again and forget it never happened? No. Not a chance.
I, instinctively, take note of who stands by me, who leaves me, and who causes problems. It isn’t healthy to keep the number twos and threes in our lives full-time.
See what I said there? Full-time. I don’t like to completely cut people out of my life unless the person(s) are harming me in a detrimental way. That is something I would have done in my teens. I’ve learned in the past two years that some people just need to be moved to part-time friends/acquaintances.
The number twos and threes are not worthy of being full-time employees in this life. Let’s face it, y’all, life is too short for the Negative Nancys, the Jerky Julies, and the Mean Matts. (No offense to people with the name Nancy, Julie, or Matt, by the way!)
At least once a month I feel that we should all evaluate the people in our lives. You can utilize Facebook, go through your phone contacts, or even address books (do people still use those?). I am not suggesting you demote people in your life for the hell of it, though. The point is that some people aren’t worth your full attention. You can always include them in prayer or wish them well every so often; but to waste time, energy, and emotions on people who don’t have your back or cause problems… that is silly.
Recently, David and I have been evaluating these very people in our lives. David helped me to understand that not all people are worth keeping around. I owe a lot of my strength and confidence in this area to him. David and I vowed to include only those in our life who add positive energy, lots of love, and a whole lot of support. The number ones are our full-time friends. All the others are just part-time acquaintances.
Completely unwarranted life lesson from a married woman #24: Being ruthless when evaluating the people in your life isn’t always a bad thing. Just remember that if you are going to move someone to part-time, make sure it is the right decision. Sometimes people have a lot going on and can’t put forth 100%. Chat with them and see what’s up before making any rash decisions.