The Way to a Man's Heart is Through His Stomach

By Parentalparody @parental_parody

Of course I took to Facebook to brag about my success.
Action shot taken from the Cuisine Companion bowl before plating.

I shunned chocolate over Easter. Yes, thank you, stop applauding and sit down. I am already patting myself on the back so you don't need to. To be honest, I'm more a savoury person, so it wasn't that hard. Give me a holiday that worships at a temple made from soft cheeses and I am all in. Crackers optional. #1Hubby had to return to work in the city, so he left Easter Monday, and I stayed on with the #1Grandparents in the country, so that the kids could further acquaint themselves with fresh air and grass, while riding their bikes on the actual road (Mstr6 finally rides without training wheels or tantrums, thanks to this). Shut up safety experts. We're at the end of a cul de sac that nobody drives down.  And I was standing guard (wine in hand) on car watch.  More focus on my awesome non-electronic device parenting than the whole OMGTHEYRODEONTHEROAD. It was while on car watch that I pondered how to reward reward myself for excelling at maintaining the health of my family, via shunning sugar and embracing exercise. I mean, apart from the Nobel Prize and United Nations committees fighting it out over who gets to use me as their parenting role model and spokesperson. A long holiday.  Four weeks in Bali for Christmas. Not remotely related to Easter, and certainly more generous than a CadburyBilby, a Lindt Hen House and a Ferrero Bunny put together and coated in real organic corn fed, farm bred, free range, organic, rain forest alliance certified, fair trade gold. Cheap airfares sealed the deal.  Which only left suggesting it to #1Hubby, letting him think he was making the guided decision to go for it. Heh. This required an impressive distraction.  Exhausted from my physical car watching, I decided to go with an impressive meal instead of other wifely means of distracting and persuading one's husband. We returned home yesterday and I seized the opportunity to overcome my fear of all things electronic (besides my phone, laptop, iDevices and TV, obviously) and opened up the Tefal Cuisine Companion I'd just received and agreed to actually remove from the box and use.  Not leave in some dark corner of my pantry like so many other devices before it. I'm no food expert, obviously.  But I do like to try and cook as much of our food from scratch as possible, so I was keen to give it a try.  Anything to aid my inherently lazy nature.  Plus, I'm pretty confident I can use it to make cocktails. Things started off really well... I managed to leave a large piece of foam inside the base, and so I launched into a minor and ladylike tantrum when I couldn't get the bowl to click into place as a result. #1Hubby breezed into the kitchen for the 28th time to offer assistance.  This time I did not bite his head off and banish him. Instead, I went for a petulant "FINE!" Which we both knew really meant "Oh fine...if you must...I will do you a favour and let you play the hero even though we both know that I am superior in the kitchen and there's no way you will work this out if I haven't been able to". The added dialog conveyed via sighing, haughty body movements, and a couple of indecent hand gestures.  Kind of like passive agressive interpretive dance, if you will. Yeah. He immediately found the very large and obvious piece of foam. Remembering the end goal, I pleasantly and calmly agreed to #1Hubby having a gloat about saving the day/universe via Facebook status update. While he did that, I flicked through the recipe book, completely ignoring the manual, because now I had an expert in the effing kitchen... And I had consumed half the bottle of wine intended for the seafood risotto. Okay more like three quarters. So I found the first risotto recipe and quite literally threw the ingredients in, adding bits and pieces with wild abandon to make the recipe my own, and seafood-it-up in order to impress #1Hubby. Mercifully, the Cuisine Companion comes with very easy to follow instructions.  Like pictures on their buttons that correspond with pictures on their recipes.  Even three quarters of a bottle of Sav Blanc in, I couldn't screw this up. And I didn't have to stand over the stove, constantly stirring and adding liquid and fretting about the ratio of rice to liquid and whether or not it was going to work after I'd committed so much time and pricey ingredients to the process. Something that would have taken me well over an hour manually, took just on 30 minutes from end-of-tantrum commencement, til hasty non-artistic plating. While he was making all the right bedroom noises over the risotto that he was clearly enjoying, I seized the moment and casually mentioned how good it was to spend Christmas in Bali, and wouldn't it be great if we could get cheap airfares and do it again? Without looking up, he was all "oh yeah, yes".   Probably at the risotto, not me. Regardless, I took that approval and ran with it.  I immediately went off to pretend to Google prices and OH LOOK - there just so happens to be a sale on right now and I will just book us some tickets.  Now.  Not 3 days prior. NAILED IT
THE RISOTTO THE MACHINE THE HOLIDAY CHARADE
ALL OF IT
Here is a post-dinner shot of my "I only like fish and chips" seafood hating Miss9, sprung eating from the bowl....

Busted.  Eating from the bowl.
Next time I'm making a spinach and broccoli quinoa** risotto and handing everyone a spoon to eat from the bowl, since it clearly has magic powers.  Which would also totally make it a one-dish-dinner.

**Even my spell checker didn't know WTF quinoa was.  Heh.  High five spell checker...