The Vulnerability of the Writer

I was having dinner with a few friends the other night and we were talking about blogging, and I realized something: Being a writer can be scary. We were talking about the times we’ve written blog posts and then deleted them because we were so worried about what readers would think. One of my friends talked about the fact that she’d written a humorous poem to her daughter. She’d laughed out loud as she’d written it and had been so thrilled with the end result that she posted it on Facebook that evening. But when the lights went out that night, she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, rethinking every word of her poem, fearing what others might think. Before too long she jumped out of bed, ran to the computer, and deleted the poem from Facebook.

We talked about how nice it would be to write anonymously—then you could freely say whatever you think, right? Well, part of being a writer means wanting someone to read what you’ve written. We’re sharing our thoughts and we want others to hear us, to connect with us. Mostly, we want people to read what we’ve written and love it. That’s the trouble with being a writer. When you share what you’ve written, there will undoubtedly be readers who love it and readers who hate it and people who don’t care either way. As both an editor and a writer, I find myself on both sides of this fence. Having to critique another’s work, having to request changes, having to question what’s been written at times—but, also, I know what it feels like to fear criticism, to wonder whether someone will like what you’ve written, to hope someone understands and agrees and encourages you when they’ve read your work. I know healthy criticism is necessary, but it can be really hard to take.

To be a writer is to make yourself vulnerable to the opinions of others. And unless you were born with a very thick skin, that can be intimidating. You might publish a book and worry what the critics will think or what the bloggers will write. Those are valid concerns, even if you know you can’t control the opinions of others. I think it’s normal to wonder whether what you’re writing has value. As one friend said to me recently, “When I want to blog about something, I always wonder, But what if I change my mind about this?” That happens, of course. We grow; we change. Have you ever reread something you wrote years ago and thought to yourself, Thank goodness this was never published! I know I’ve had those thoughts. While we know that being a writer makes you vulnerable and that can be a fearful thing—being a writer also means being brave enough to be vulnerable. Brave enough to share what you’ve written. If you want to be published, there will be moments when you have to be fearless.

And when it comes to blogging, just remember that you can always delete those negative comments.