I tried again when he turned 4. This time, we didn't make it past the opening crawl. As soon as the music started, he knew the red people were not far, so he ran away.
But after I gave DorkDaddy my answer, that I couldn't imagine my son ever being ready for Star Wars, I decided to try again. And this time, maybe because his preschool friends were talking about playing the Star Wars Angry Birds game, or because his 2-year-old sister was in the room, and didn't mind watching it, or because he was simply ready, he stayed in the room the whole time. And a couple of days later, we watched The Empire Strikes Back.
There were snow monsters, and hands being chopped off, and Darth Vader appears in that trippy scene in the cave, and you have that "Luke, this is your destiny" line, which I've been imitating (WITH GRAVITAS) since he was 3, thinking that would make him want to watch it more, and Han Solo gets frozen, and, well, that movie is dark. But he made it through, and I couldn't be prouder.
Of course, his little sister made it through as well, but it's easier to get through the Star Wars movies when all you get is, "Dark Vader's robots fell! And it was funny!"
Now, obviously, there's the Machete Order. If you're not familiar with that post, now would be a good time to read it. It's very long, but it's a fun read. And it's very convincing. The short version is that the Machete Order calls for new Star Wars viewers to watch the movies in this order: IV, V, II, III, VI.
Yes, only 5 movies, with very little Jar Jar, with the "I am your father" surprise still intact, and with a double flashback after Luke gets his new hand, all preparing us for The Return of the Jedi extravaganza.
The Machete Order post is updated to say a young woman watched the movies for the first time in the suggested order, and it worked really well. And I believe it. After all, it's true that all the prequels suck, but do they suck that much if you take the Jar Jar out of the equation?
Still, the ultimate question remains: What about kids? Will the Machete order work for kids? I have 5 possible problems:
1. Kids love podracers. That's a scientific fact.
2. Wouldn't kids miss
3. That scene with Obi-Wan jumping out of the window is exciting!
4. Would kids be able to get excited over the Return of the Jedi after watching two movies with superior special effects?
5. And worst of all: What if I deprive them of one or more of the prequels, and then they end up watching them during their rebellious teenage years? What if they then come up to me and say, "The Phantom Menace is better than A New Hope!!! And also, I hate you!!!"? That means I've failed them as a father and as a guide to life!!!
It's a tough one. If I take my role as father seriously, shouldn't I protect my kids, by stopping from watching all of the prequels? And what about the new movies they're making now? Should knowing about the upcoming trilogy make a difference in my decision?