Hi All,
Been away for a while, so firstly I would like to say sorry for that. Secondly, for today’s post I am talking about words. How they can heal, how they can add chinks to your armor and how they can remove them too. There are many reasons why I am tackling this subject, I have finally got to a point where I am confident enough with my words that I can use my voice as a shield, I have witnessed many people who can’t use words to help themselves or others and finally, I am passionate about them. Whether they are written on paper, typed on our laptops, or they are said, once they have been placed out there, they are as permanent as oil paint. So, what and how do we use our words to create happy pictures and stop creating negative ones and why does silence make us even more vulnerable.
Change your thinking about them……
I had a revelation recently when chatting away to my oldest friend. I, as you know, am a curvy girl who grew up with every single ‘fat’ joke you can come up with. These words left there mark, of course, words that I have kept with me all my life. The one thing I never realised was that skinny girls got this too – words that sting, cut at your armor and leave their scars on your face, in those lines, in those gray hairs, in the pit of your stomach.
My friend is tiny – literally tiny – she grew up with statements that left her feeling the same way as I do about ‘Who ate all the pies?’. It was the constant ‘She needs a good meal’ or ‘god, I wish I could be as skinny as you’ that have left their mark. As with any of us, this has led to insecurities and ultimately changed her life in ways that only she would know. But they are just words? I hear you say. No they are not, they are the embodiment of what is happening within our minds, within our souls, they are what we want the world to know at that exact moment.
So next time you tell your friend she is too skinny, or she needs to go to the gym, think about it first – would you like to be told that?
Know when to stop words altogether…….
A point I have had to learn the hard way and trust me when I say, it is the hardest thing I have had to do. There are times in our lives, when we have to go silent, disappear, stop sharing the words and protect that armor you have built up. Over the years there have been a handful of people who I have simply had to stop using words with, either for my own sanity or because words are not enough. Some have been family, some friends, but they have equally shaped how I use my words and how I now know to stop when I have exhausted them.
Fact = you cannot make people like you, you cannot make people believe in you if they don’t want to and if your words are not enough, then the person does not deserve them. Stop putting the energy into finding the words to make them see all that you are – they wont see it – so simply go silent, dark – go ninja and walk away. There has to be a time to let go and this is it – it took a very special man to teach me when to let go.
Use your words for the people who do see it…….
There are people out there that want to hear your words, that love you for them and that know you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t speak your mind. These are the people to be celebrated, loved and the ones you should be concentrating your energy on. So my advice – shout it out, sing those words, rhyme, rap, write poetry, write a letter. Just go out and say hello to a stranger. be you and never apologize for it.
Here are some of the most beautiful words I have ever heard in a song!