(Pre recap disclaimer – I make no apologies for the amount of Eric Northman gifs I have used in this recap. It is my last one ever and he is the fictional love of my life!)
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“Love is to die” – alternatively known as “FFS just get on and do it then you ridiculous and nauseating sour-puss!”
We begin the penultimate episode of True Blood right where we left off with Bill still determined not to take the antidote, and Sookie still determined to make him. Jessica has had enough and asks to be released, which she is. Eric is sorry for Sookie and she again makes use of his great big Viking shoulder to cry on (It’s just like the end of season 5 all over again). Because Eric is good like that. I was going to put in a gif of this, but nah…..
Post credits, and Jessica and Sookie arrive at Sam’s. He has gone to live in Chicago with Nicole, but at least left Sookie a note asking her to come and visit. Jessica and Sookie wander over to “Bellefleurs” where Arlene is trying to get back in business by organising a little get-together for the good folk on Bon Temps. Jess sees James and Lafayette and decides today is the day to make good, he is happy with his new love, and she is happy for them. Next Jess heads over to Hoyt’s and explains that they used to be together and she f*cked it up. Hoyt goes off with Jess, and Bridget calls the only other person in town she knows, Jason Stackhouse. Arlene tells Sookie that she is happy with Keith but they taking it slow, Sookie says something about not loving Alcide enough because of Bill, you can probably already feel my vibe about this wasted episode? Yep, thought so.
Thankfully Eric soon re-appears, dressed in black leather, and could pretty much stand on the door-step all night and it would still be the most interesting part of the episode. He’s come to visit Bill, to ask him not to die as Sookie loves him. Because Eric is good like that. Because Eric can obviously now see that Sookie truly loves only Bill. Even the way Bill shuffles to answer the door pisses me off no end, but he manages to summon enough strength to let Eric in. The lesser man in the room is full of doom and gloom, about how vampires are bad for Sookie (that would be yourself then Bill?) and about how it is her light that attracts them, and how she always returns to him even though he lied and “almost raped” her. He wants to set her free so she can find happiness elsewhere. (Does anyone still remember when this show used to be fun?)
Eric reluctantly agrees to talk to Sookie on Bill’s behalf, because this is what he has become, a go-between for the woman he loves and this lesser vampire. Because Eric is good like that.
After being called by Bridget, Jason ends up getting thumped by Hoyt, and then taken home by Bridget, who wants to show him how to not have sex. Who the f*ck is this girl anyway, that in the second-to-last episode ever she has more screen time than Lafayette? I’m sure she’s very nice and all that, but the audience doesn’t know her and we just don’t care.
Eventually we get the anticipated dreaded Eric and Sookie scene. We need not have worried though because it’s not even about Eric or Sookie, it’s all about Bill. Of course it is. Eric wants Sookie to hear Bill’s explanation about why he would rather die than be with her. Because Eric is good like that. He offers her a lift home, and then he picks her up in his arms and (after 6 years of waiting) they fly.
I’m sorry but I just have to do this, even though it makes me sad.
You cannot help but notice that the only moment of happiness Sookie Stackhouse has in this entire episode is when she flew over Bon Temps in the arms of the Viking Vampire. How rubbish is that? If these writers think we might feel better that they shared this experience together then they are very wrong indeed. Moments like this make Sookie’s all-consuming love for Bill actually feel 1000 times worse.
When they arrive at her home, Sookie invites Eric in. Perhaps she wants him there so she has a big strong shoulder to cry on again when the love of her life manages to shuffle across from next door, or maybe it was done in case the writers need to have Eric enter her house in the finale. Anyway Mr Northman maintains his dignity and bids her goodnight. Because Eric is good like that.
He arrives back at Fangtasia, after having let’s face it, a pretty shitty night playing relationship counselor, and is not best pleased that Ginger wants to pick a fight about him not letting her know he is now cured of his Hep V. Which brings us to Eric and Ginger…………..
I apologize in advance to my best True Blood friend (you know who you are), and anyone else who did not appreciate this scene. I can understand why. But I actually liked it. It felt much less random than the Eric/Jason sex fantasy, as it actually did fit into the context of the episode as a whole. Eric spent most of the night doing good deeds for other people, he had acted as a go-between to his rival in love and the girl he lost to him. That takes a big f*cking man. He is at odds with himself and probably at odds with the entire world tonight. So this was his good deed for Ginger, he probably thought “why not?” Because Eric is good like that.
He even lets Ginger decide how and where this momentous occasion will take place. On his throne (of course). This scene was the only one in the entire episode that made me smile. I couldn’t help it, and mainly I was smiling because of Eric’s facial expressions and his ruffled hair.
From Eric taking her hand to her collapsing in an earth-shattering orgasm on the floor, Ginger’s ride on the Viking longboat lasted all of 1 minute and 32 seconds. Shame on you girl, I’m would have lasted at least 1 minute and 44. Of course this scene was a laugh at the expense of fan-girls like myself, but I feel woman enough to take it today!
(If anyone is interested we also discovered that Eric is now immune to Hep V)
Eric steps over Ginger and goes to look for Pam, whose only contribution to the episode so far is to decide Sarah Newlin needs to go back to blonde. These little Pam moments have often been comic relief gold, but Pam isn’t just comic relief any more, we are being led to believe that she is the best option as a life partner for the best man on the show. And here we go again as the Yakuza have captured her (I think that is 3 times now this season?) and are using her against Eric to get their way. I have vague recollections of a newly-vamped Tara beheading a vampire sheriff with a sword and generally kicking a little bit of butt, yet Pam is always the damsel in distress. Why? She’s over 100 years old now, she could take at least some of them out surely? I want a strong woman for Eric – where’s a Vampire Lagertha when you need her?
Anyway Eric has to tell Mr Gus where Sookie lives or Pam will get staked. Even the most die-hard Sooric fan knows Eric has no option, he is not going to watch Pam die right in front of him. Although this man has spent the entire episode trying his best to bring peace or happiness to others, and over the course of the last 6 years he has proved to be a man who can love more deeply than any other on the show, Pam is currently the only person in the whole world that he is remotely close to, and that for me is incredibly sad. He needs Pam because he has no one else. Don’t get me started with how the writers have treated Willa Burrell – did anyone see her there? Sitting at the table in “Bellefleurs” with the rest of the Bon Temps townsfolk? If you blinked you will have missed her as the second progeny of Viking Vampire God Eric Northman may have been born into greatness, but she has ended up as no more than a glorified extra.
So as we prepare for the final True Blood showdown, Bill shuffles his whiney ass over to Sookie’s place. No doubt he will be there in earnest when the bad guys show up.
There have been a lot of crazy things happen over the last 7 seasons, but the craziest and most unrealistic of all is that Eric Northman seems destined to play second (or third or fourth) fiddle to Bill Compton in the eyes of the female protagonist. What’s the point of making 99% of your audience fall in love with a character and crave for him to be “the one” if you are not going to give them the pay off in the end? Eric F*cking Northman is NOT a second choice!
(Thank you to everyone who has taken the time and effort to read my incoherent ramblings over the last few years. May your Viking Vampire dreams always be a good as the ones Sookie Stackhouse used to have!) (Amazing gifs by trueblooddiaries, askarsswedishmeatballs, supagirl, mametupa, icemft, switchbladekiller, sikanapanele – all on tumblr)