A few posts ago, I wrote about a tree in my backyard. A unique and unusual Australian tree that I grew fond of over time.
This week, I'm writing about a few other bizarre things I've recently come across in this expat life. Those strange, eccentric behaviours that made me whip my head around and go "WTF?"
The whacky, the weird, the downright odd.
So here are three of the kookiest things I've seen in Australia.
The barefoot bogan. Photo credit: Alex Carmichal (Flickr Creative Commons)
The barefoot supermarket bogan
The first time I saw a barefoot bogan, I did a double-take.
It was the middle of a Sydney winter - not too cold but chilly enough that I wore jeans, jacket and boots. The bogan stood next to me in the supermarket aisle dressed in a scruffy vest, dirty board shorts, and not a lot else.
I've found that living near the beach results in a more laidback approach to life. Beach dwellers are carefree and relaxed, ditching the formality that comes with life in most urban centres, preferring the simple pleasures of a surfboard or pair of thongs beneath their feet.
The downside to this informality is an abundance of beachside bogans - an unusual breed, generally lacking in taste, style or decency, considerably lower on the evolutionary scale than your average Homo Sapien, and comparable to the renowned British 'chav'.
Grabbing a bag of mixed veg from the freezer, the bogan's naked and soiled feet scuffed across the floor, coming dangerously close to invading my own personal foot space. I stared in a kind of awe, but mainly disgust, at these feet - how they could cope with the cold? At one point, I wondered whether the man was in fact a local tramp, but clearly he was a banker or salesman, plumber or carpenter. Boganism in these parts doesn't discriminate.
This barefoot supermarket bogan seemed as happy as a pig in the proverbial. I pictured a similar scene in the UK and the audible shock and horror from the blue rinsed old ladies that would inevitably follow.
Dogs on utes
If I'm driving somewhere in the neighbourhood, I'll often spot a ute in the traffic, obligatory tradie at the wheel, rangy old mutt in the open flatbed at the rear of the truck sizing me up.
It's ordinary to see these cars fly past, dog bracing itself in the back, ears flattened, and a look of either sheer terror or open excitement on its face. I just haven't figured out which.
I flit between the camp that loudly declares this as being an inhumane way to treat a pet animal and the camp that wonders if the dog isn't loving every minute of it's open-top adventure.
I'm not even certain it's legal but, as with most things here, you treat each day with an open mind and learn to expect the unexpected.
If you happen to pass through the central business district of Sydney, buzzing with activity as office workers go about their day macchiatos and cappuccinos at the ready, sun-worshipping tourists crowding the streets, I dare you not to stare at the mutts and mongrels riding around like carnival queens on the back of their master's vehicles.
It's nothing less than plain weird.
Saint Nick at the bowlo
In July, a large part of the planet is sweltering at the peak of summer. Here in Australia, it's mid-winter, even if the average temperature rivals those of Europe. So it's generally warm and it's the middle of the year. In other words, it's as far removed from Christmas as it could possibly be.
It's therefore bizarre to see Santa Claus bowling at the local lawn bowls club.
My wife pointed him out to me matter-of-factly. It was perfectly obvious to her that someone would dress up in heavy red robes and a flowing white beard in the middle of July. Apparently, I was witnessing Christmas in July, an annual Christmas-themed celebration that occurs in, well, July. Let me explain.
In the southern hemisphere, winter falls in July. The mornings and nights get colder, and the days grow shorter. Given that Christmas Day is often stinking hot, falling in the middle of summer, Australians celebrate a second Christmas with more of a wintry feel. The old man dressed in his unusual get-up is considered quite normal Down Under and Saint Nick can be spotted at special events and in shopping malls, clubs and bowlos across the land.
All this to say, in my six years here, I've seen Santa on a surfboard in December and now I've seen him on a lawn bowls green in July.
I've also seen thong-throwing competitions at beach parties, an ongoing obsession with local petrol prices on the nightly news, inordinate numbers of drivers who can't drive round roundabouts, and an absolute 9and understandable) adoration of the meat pie.
What are the kookiest things you've seen in expat life? What are the things where you live that might make others whip their heads around and go "huh"?
Share your kooky examples below.
Here are some other wonderfully whacky things about Australia and Australians, recently published in the Sydney Morning Herald - We're a weird mob: Australians' bizarre behaviour.
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