I am back from vacay but with a nasty cold. Sigh. This afternoon will be spent digging out from under, but first I couldn’t resist bringing to your attention the greatest lawyer insult EVER. Courtesy of the Duke of Norfolk by way of Hilary Mantel, spoken to Thomas Cromwell, and which had me giggling wildly over my umbrella drink last week:
“But I want him north,” Howard says. “Tell him to go. Tell him Norfolk says he must be on the road and out of here. Or – and tell him this – I will come where he is, and I will tear him with my teeth.
“My lord.” He bows. “May I substitute the word ‘bite?’”
Norfolk approaches him. He stands far too close. His eyes are bloodshot. Every sinew is jumping. He says, “Substitute nothing, you misbegotten- ” The duke stabs a forefinger into his shoulder. “You . . . person,” he says; and again, “you nobody from Hell, you whore-spawn, you cluster of evil, you lawyer.”
From Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel (Henry Holt and Co. 2009)