“I cannot get through/am too lazy/don’t want to spend the money on the international telephone call, so would you call for me and reserve?”
“I arrive in the 6th at 11 PM and need a good, low-priced bistro where no one speaks English, that’s open late, within walking distance of my hotel.”
“So if I cannot get into Spring, Frenchie, Septime or (insert your favorite hotspot) where do I go if I’m looking for a good, low-priced bistro where no one speaks English, within walking distance of X Museum.”
Mr. Answer Man
“What are your top ten restaurants this year/ever?” [Have you read my categories?]
“Where do I go on Sundays?” [ditto]
“How far is it from my hotel to the restaurants in the Bois de Boulogne?” [Ah Mapquest is too hard to find?]
“Which is better, Restaurant X or Bistro Y?” [How many people did you ask?]
“My family wants to have the dégustation menu at Chez Blabla, but I don't eat seafood, and my wife is vegetarian except for chicken and egg whites, my boy eats only beef, my daughter eats only pasta. Do you think Chez Blabla would accommodate our issues and let us substitute this and that and that and that?
PS. A friend notes that after they’ve been answered/helped, their feedback, if any, is that “all the advice is ignored and on their own they found ‘divine little places, that serve the best French food in Paris’…..which were the type of places they wanted to avoid in the first place and generally have lackluster reputations.”
Punching bag [posted with an untraceable screen name but traceable IP]
“You’ll never print this but I think you’re nothing but a self-righteous, rich geezer with a big ego.”
“It's the height of pretention and poor taste to compare yourself and your lofty standards to the poor kids who write or blog to make a living; shame on you.”
“I disagree with everything you say, you blithering idiot. I’ll never go to anyplace you recommend.”
And finally – billboard.
“Buy cheap (enter your favorite) running shoes, watches, apparel.”
“You must try my favorite place [which I happen to own/be the chef at].”
“Write A+ term papers.”
*With a little help from my friends (Thanks esp. to N.L.)