Slow down you crazy child
You’re so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you’re so smart tell me,
Why are you still so afraid? (mmmmm)
Where’s the fire, what’s the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day (Ay)
But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You’re gonna kick off before you even get halfway through (Oooh)
When will you realize… Vienna waits for you?
Slow down you’re doing fine
You can’t be everything you want to be before your time
Although it’s so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad, but it’s the life you lead
You’re so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you’re wrong
You know you can’t always see when you’re right (you’re right)
You got your passion, you got your pride
But don’t you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don’t imagine they’ll all come true (Oooh)
When will you realize… Vienna waits for you?
These lyrics have always been near and dear to my heart. Sometimes it is hard to trust in the timing of everything. I personally tend to rush things or always look ahead. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy the moment but rather I get nervous there won’t be enough time for me to accomplish my dreams. I have this constant battle with anxious behavior so when something doesn’t happen I begin to stress.
I can be quite the emotional person. I admit it. I am a sensitive and dramatic soul. When I graduated college it wasn’t easy. It felt like my friends all moved away, I was barely making ends meet and adult life was exhausting. I felt a little lost on post-grad life, and I was still in Texas. I started to grow a little unhappy. You see, I always had dreams to move abroad, mainly Paris. I fell head-over-heels for the city when I visited in high school and the love affair continued after numerous trips. I actually tried to turn this dream into a reality a few times before but the world always seemed to have other plans. I always found it so frustrating that every time I tried to go, something went wrong. Either I didn’t get accepted into a program, I got a new job, a possible parisian roommate fell through…etc. My mom always told me, “well, it isn’t the right time.” My thoughts? Fuck time! I want to go now. If it doesn’t happen now I will never go! It has to work NOW! That was how frustrated I was feeling. Every time I would get down or frustrated about my failing plans I would play this song by Billy Joel (above). Over and over. I even changed the lyrics from “Vienna waits for you” to “Paris waits for you.”
I have now been married two years to the absolute love of my life, and the dream of moving to Paris seemed all but forgotten. He and his family have always been so generous with travel, and we have loved seeing the world together. But there is always a bit of a sigh when I come back to Dallas and I know the trip is over. It is hard for me to get back into the routine of “normalcy.” I want to do more.
Do you want to know the reasons I love my husband more than anything in this world? He supports me, loves me, respects me, and encourages me. The man is a gift from God. I am not sure I could have ever found someone so perfect. So why am I getting this personal? The other night I had a complete cry sesh with him. After a bottle of wine the tears came. They weren’t sad tears – more tears of the unknown and fear of running out of time to accomplish my dreams. I warned I had a tendency to be dramatic. But he gets me. Since he grew up in Switzerland and has lived in multiple countries he understands my fear of living in the same place and never experiencing something new. He comforts my anxieties and always helps me feel at ease while assuring me, there is enough time. I told you he is perfect for me!
It literally took him all of three minutes after I was done explaining my tears to say, “Go. Go live your dream. Move to Paris for the summer and check that off your list.” “I am sorry, did I hear you right? I can’t just gooo. I have a family. I have responsibilities. I would miss you too much. No.” Literally that was my response. Can you imagine having your dream handed to you on a silver platter and you say no? Well, I did. I couldn’t comprehend leaving my best friend (him) and my dog, Annie. However, he continued to chat it out with me. I started to think “Why couldn’t I go this summer? I have no major responsibilities. I work from home. He can take care of the dog.” It was the perfect timing.
Timing. That funny, hard to trust, confusing word that I finally heard in the right sentence: “Mary, this is the perfect timing.” The moment he said it I felt this overwhelming sensation deep in my bones. He was right. This was MY TIME. So there it is, with the support of my very understanding, phenomenal, loving husband, I am moving to Paris for the summer!! I have signed-up (and been approved) to take a course in french and hopefully learn enough to follow along with my in-laws.
On my drive home from Houston this past weekend I played “Vienna” by Billy Joel and smiled the entire song. It had all come full circle. If you are patient enough dreams do come true. Paris didn’t have to wait any longer, I was coming!