Mmmm you can already start to smell fall in the air. Who doesn’t love this time of year? Hoodie weather, pumpkin beer, Halloween, apple pies and of course football. To celebrate the return of the gridiron I figured I would combine two of my favorite things out there – football and movies – into one Hollywood style fantasy draft. Here’s the final roster!
Head Coach: Herman Boone, Remember the Titans
Who would be up to the task of leading a group of players with this much drama attached to them? Almost every single one has some sort of emotional or psychological journey they’ve been on and it would take a hell of a Coach to keep them together. How about the man that pretty much ended racism in a small town and went undefeated? Done.
Assistant Head Coach: Tony D’Amato, Any Given Sunday
When we last met Tony he was already on his last leg of coaching so an Assistant position would work nicely for him. Plus we need to have the man behind the greatest motivational speech of all-time to be there in case of an emergency half-time meeting.
Quarterback: Shane Falco, The Replacements
A rocket arm, undeniable leadership and enough journeyman experience to humble the man. Oh, and this quote “Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory.. lasts forever”. Yup that’s our Quarterback.
Running Back: Boobie Miles, Friday Night Lights
Fullback: Spike, Little Giants
Your fullback is really only given the ball in short yardage situations when you reallllly need to push the pile and gain a yard or two. Who better for this job than the guy who was squatting refrigerators as a 12 year old?
Wide Receiver: Rod Tidwell, Jerry Maguire
Wide Receiver 2: Tweeter, Varsity Blues
Middle Linebacker: Bobby Boucher, The Waterboy
Outside Linebacker: Daniel Bateman, The Replacements
Another absolutely insane tackling machine with a high motor who once started visibly attacking referees on the field of play. He wears his heart on his sleeve and often his opponent’s blood which is a perfect recipe for defensive madness.
Cornerback: Willie Mays Hayes, Major League
Now yes, Willie is a center fielder for the Cleveland Indians but our scouts say that he’s talented enough to be a two sport athlete. He even played football back in high-school and was an All-American track star. You can’t coach speed and this man can keep up with any WR we throw at him. He’s basically Dion Sanders.
Free Safety: Rudy, Rudy
Bonus – Kick Returner: Forrest Gump
He may be the village idiot but he’s the fastest son of a bitch alive. RUN FORREST RUN!