I had not long turned 14 and my life was hell, I suffered severe teenage depression, let me tell you why…
My mom and dad were both alcoholics. My mom had got herself yet another new fella. I have no idea how she’d gotten this one in the first place because he seemed like such a nice, genuine guy. They’d split within a month- no surprise there. I had decided to go and live with him; I couldn’t take being a punching bag from my mom or my dad anymore. Neither of them gave a shit where I was, as long as they received the child benefit money for me.
Everything was going great living with Tom (not his real name but I really don’t want to say his name), that was until one day. He had his sister and her friend over for a meal, which happened a couple of times a week. This one day in particular his sister had to go early as her child was ill, so it was just me, Tom and Jen in the house.
We were all having a laugh and a joke about and started playing spin the bottle. It landed on me and Tom told me I had to kiss him- for 10 seconds. Things got awkward and I’ll spare you too many details but he and she raped me and forced me to join in and video a threesome over and over. It went on for 2 days.
When I finally got out of the house, out of the town, I ran to my mum, although I didn’t think she’d have much to say on the matter. I was right, the fact is she laughed in my face, told me I deserved it and hoped he’d track me down and do it again. That was it; I went to bed and hatched a plan.
To many it maybe a ‘sick’ thought, but to me it made me smile, it was a way out of this hell hole that people called Life. Around 6am on the 5/11/06 I got out of bed, dragged some clothes on, and went for a walk. I walked and walked and suddenly I was on a bridge overlooking a dual cartridge way.
I jumped.
I damaged my back, my wrist and my ankle, while getting hit by a car. It had slowed right down to look at me on this bridge so it was more of a tap really. Not good enough. I tried with all my might to get up on the bridge again to jump until it was all over.
I wriggled and crawled and tried to get off the road and near the ramp thing to get back up. By this time many people had called the police and ambulance and I could hear the sirens getting closer.
I knew I had about a minute until they were on me, so in the state I was in I tried running, to no avail. Adrenaline was pumping around my body so fast, I felt no pain.
I was desperate, I could no longer deal with the depression I was suffering and my whole life was a mess. I had no support; even my own mother hates me. I had been used as a punch bag from both my mom and dad and the guy I thought I could trust had raped me.
I had been depressed for months, probably years yet nobody cared and nobody ever took any notice. I was screaming out for help, yet was so alone.
I was screaming at the top of my lungs ‘WHY WONT ANY OF THESE FUCKING CARS HIT ME?
A lovely police woman got me, took me to hospital and I semi-recovered. I still have problems with my back; I will have for the rest of my life. A metal screw holds my wrist together.
It took me 2 years to finally recover, I am now on the road to fighting my teenage depression and the demons that still haunt me, but I am the proud mom to a little boy and he keeps me fighting.
If only I had an adult who could have helped me, perhaps all this would not have happened.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mom who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.