Tales from the Toilet Bowl: Confessions of a Full Time Traveler

By Kenin Bassart @Constantramble

Everyone assumes that our travels are all fun and adventure. They see our pretty photographs on Facebook and read our blog and think “Wow, those Ramblers have quite the life!” Well, we do. However, we do have our bad moments just like everyone else. Our blog and social media acts as a highlight real of sorts. Here are a few examples of Ramblin’ moments where things didn’t go quite as planned. After all, we are human and err just as much as anyone else.


The Toe Incident

While in the Smoky Mountains, I decided I wanted to play in the river. I took my shoes off and started hopping around the rocks and splashing around like a little kid. It was fun and exhilarating. “Join me Kenin, take your shoes off and get in.” “No Lauren, my giant feet aren’t made to hop on those rocks. I’ll hurt myself.” Was his reply, I thought he was being boring and pragmatic so I egged him on. “Don’t be such a pansy! You’ll be fine.”  Those were my famous last words. Kenin joined me all fun and fancy-free, slipped on a tiny rock, and broke a toe. I still hear about this from time to time when I ask him to join in my free-spirited fun.

Kenin’s toe incident

That Time We Almost Died…

Driving through Alaska is very doable in the late fall, but you still need to take certain precautions. We put some winter tires on the car and made it through the entire state (over a period of two weeks) without any incident. Then, while on our way out of the state, this happened. We were casually driving through some fresh snow while going down a mountain and of course, being Alaska, there are no guard rails. Suddenly, we hit a patch of ice and the car starts to slide out of control towards the edge of the mountain we’re on. We are a couple thousand feet up and nothing Ken is doing is changing the trajectory. He’s tapping brakes, turning the wheel, pumping the clutch, anything just to get the car turned back onto the road and absolutely nothing is working. The car just keeps sliding sideways  heading towards the side of the mountain. Just when I close my eyes and think my life is over it hits us…a stop sign.  We are saved from sliding off the edge of a mountain by a stop sign! We get out of the car and Kenin curses loud enough to start an avalanche, realizes we are alive and not hurt, gets back in the car and we continue to make our way back to Florida. Whew!

The time we almost died

The Dog Days of Summer

Camping is great and we don’t get to do it often enough for me. The last time we camped, we took our two dogs with us. Ever sleep in a tent with two dogs? How about sleeping in a tent with two dogs when one of them eats something that gives him diarrhea? That’s right. We were awoken by Punkin trying to get out of the tent and poop everywhere. This is nothing like when a dog poops in the house at home. There is poop on the tent, on the sleeping bags, all over the dogs. It was horrible and the worst way to wake up EVER.

Camping in Corbett

Shit Really Does Happen

Speaking of diarrhea, we spent five weeks in India. We didn’t drink tap water, we were extremely careful about the conditions of restaurants, and we still got sick…very sick. For almost two weeks Kenin and I were stuck by the Maharastra’s Revenge (aka Gandhi’s Revenge, Delhi Belly, The Rangoon Runs, Bombay Belly). Anyone who has visited this part of the world knows what public bathrooms are like. You basically get to poop in a hole in the ground and toilet paper is a luxury most can’t afford. This meant that Kenin and I were trapped in our hotel (where we had proper facilities) and ventured out only when necessary. Traveling is great, but shit happens!

Taj Mahal because no one wants to see our crap!

The Time We Almost Died Again…