(sung) “Red Robin—” “Raawwwwwwwrrrrrrghhhhh!”

By Keewood @sellingeating

I guess I don’t know for sure how to spell the sound Wolverine makes in that clip, but it’s fun to imagine it replacing the Ladysmith Black Mambazo-y “Yummmm!” (I do hope Joseph Shabalala is getting some money for that mnemonic of RR’s) at the end of this ad:

That restrained “Yummmm” may not express the emotion of the Wolverine accurately.

On Yahoo! today is a nice article about the disconnect between the physical fitness of superheroes and their unhealthy restaurant associations. (Disclosure: they quote me in it.) (Was that “Disclosure” or “Veiled Boasting Masquerading As Disclosure?” Don’t answer, please.) And it is awfully hard to imagine Wolverine still being able to fight like a wolverine after two or three of these.

Imagine how much injustice you feel like righting after “a flavorful combination of zesty aioli Sriracha onion straws and spicy pickles topped with Cheddar on a brioche bun and served with Bottomless Steak Fries.” (All capitalization theirs.) I guess I’d be about ready for a nap, myself. Maybe two naps in a row. Do wolverines hibernate?

But let’s think about the poor creative team tasked with this tie-in. Up the chain someone they maybe never met decided to invest in a promo with Marvel.

“Um, what does Wolverine have to do with Red R—”

“Just do it. Quickly.”

“Can we use Hugh Ja—”

“Of course not.”

“Can we say ‘Wolverine?‘’

“Nope.”

“Can we show the claws cutting through the—”

“Nope.”

“Can we even see a glimpse of him?”

“You can make no reference to anything Marvel owns.”

So the name Berserker Burger is pretty great. It makes the burger something of a dare. Claw marks on the top bun are a terrific touch, though a lot of people will maybe not get it. And I dig the photography. But then they feature what I assume is an in-store piece with the subhead, “Get your claws on it.”

If you were in my copywriting class, I would ask you what other subheads you had left over on your brainstorming list.

But then there‘s that TV ad, shown above. It’s an effective demonstration of how even a good spokesperson can become an anchor-round-the-ankle. I like that actress——her humor is subtle, in a good way (we all watch so much TV that I think people totally appreciate a nuanced delivery).

(So you can tone it down, Wendy spokesperson, who tries a little too hard most of the time.)

Still, our Red Robin laconic lady humorist at the end here is completely unnecessary. If I haven’t seen any other Red Robin ads (still a possibility in modern-day America) she seems completely superfluous.

And this whole bait-n-switch haha it’s not a superhero it’s a workaday nerd joke? It seems so typical, so expected, so done-already. And elevating the Red Robin grill dude this way makes the restaurant appear so in love with itself, even though the superfluous spokesperson triiiiiies to get you off the aesthetic hook by mocking the fact you just committed a public act of self-love. Too bad. You did it. You can’t get out of it just by acting like you knew it was wrong.

Public demonstrations of self-love are at unseemly, regardless of what you say or do next.

Um… (sigh) what else did you have from your brainstorming list, guys?