John 13:1-5, 12-15, 21-22, 26, 31, 33-35
Before the feast of Passover,
Jesus knew that His hour had come
to pass from this world to the Father.
He loved His own in the world
and He loved them to the end.
So, during supper, fully aware that
the Father had put everything into His power
and that He had come from God and was returning to God,
He rose from supper and took off His outer garments.
He took a towel and tied it around His waist.
Then He poured water into a basin
and began to wash the disciples’ feet
and dry them with the towel around His waist.
So when He had washed their feet…He said to them,
“Do you realize what I have done for you?
If I, therefore, the master and teacher,
have washed your feet,
you ought to wash one another’s feet.
I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you,
you should also do.
When He had said this,
Jesus was deeply troubled and testified,
“Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.”
The disciples looked at one another,
at a loss as to whom He meant.
Jesus answered, “It is the one
to whom I hand the morsel after I have dipped it.”
So He dipped the morsel and [took it and] handed it to Judas,
son of Simon the Iscariot.
When he [Judas] had left, Jesus said,
“My children, I will be with you only a little while longer.
I give you a new commandment: love one another.
As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.
This is how all will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another.”
“Love one another, as I have loved you.”
So what does “love another” mean?
Is it the giddy infatuation of romantic love? Is it the sensual passion of erotic love (eros)? Is it familial bond (storge) or the affection we have for friends (philia)?
Jesus had given us the answer:
“I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you,
you should also do.”
“Love one another” means:
- Charity — the voluntary giving of oneself, in the form of service or money, to another who’s in need; and
- Agapé — selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest form of love.
Nearly 2 months ago, my husband was twice admitted to ER in the space of a week — the latest in a series of medical crises after his heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery 8 years ago. Thoroughly worn out by years of caregiving, the stress overtook me and I, too, became ill, stricken with a stubborn bronchitis. So we recognized our limitations and settled him in an assisted living facility, having planned and saved for it with decades of hard work and frugality.
In the course of the latest crisis, I was struck by what two people said to me. The first was a female palliative-care physician who expressed surprise that my husband and I were together after years of his ill health. The second was my dietitian sister-in-law, who said that most people abandon a sick spouse after a year.
What happened to the marital vow of “in sickness and in health, till death do us part”?
According to a report published in the journal Cancer, based on 515 patients who had received diagnoses of brain tumors or multiple sclerosis from 2001 through 2006, about 12% of the patients in the study ended up separated or divorced.
But there is a decided sex difference. When the man became ill, only 3% experienced the end of a marriage. But when the wife became ill, some 21% ended up separated or divorced. Among couples who split up, divorce occurred, on average, about six months after the medical diagnosis.
Tara Parker Pope reports for the New York Times:
If couples are happy before the diagnosis, it appears that men are more likely to abandon wives who become seriously ill. If couples are already troubled before a partner becomes ill, the finding suggests that women in unhappy marriages are less likely to proceed with a divorce if their husbands become ill.
One is reminded of politicians who callously abandoned their sick wives: Newt Gingrich divorced his cancer-stricken first wife, Jackie Battley; and John McCain abandoned his first wife, Carol, who had been disfigured in a terrible car-crash; and John Edwards had an adulterous affair and “love child” while his wife was battling terminal breast cancer.
What will you do if your spouse becomes seriously ill?
“I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you,
you should also do.”
The Greatest Commandment of all is to love God with your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole mind, and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself.
May the love and peace of our Lord Jesus the Christ be with you!
~Eowyn