This is a really difficult post for me to write. I originally wanted this up last weekend, but last weekend was far too emotional, I teared up when trying to write, so decided to hold it off a little. I’ve mentioned how I settled into university relatively well a few times, but I’ve skipped over the fact that my boyfriend simply didn’t settle in. I’m not talking a bit of homesickness, I’m talking far more seriously. I’ll tackle homesickness another week!
My point of reliving this is to give those of you struggling at university some advice;
- Get help, talk it through. It doesn’t have to be a counsellor or a doctor, not even a lecturer. Even ranting to a trusted friend can help. Don’t worry about upsetting them either – I’ve spent many times in tears talking things through with my boy, and yes it was upsetting, but it helped him to have his feelings in the open. Bottling things up is the worst thing you can do.
- Keep people in the loop. Let your parents know how you’re feeling, let lecturers know. Chances are your work will suffer if you are feeling down, so it’s important to get consideration for this.
- Consider other options. You don’t have to leave university to make things better for yourself. Look at moving accommodation, commuting from home, or even going home every weekend. Whatever works for you.
- Deferring the year isn’t the same as quitting. Deferring isn’t always an option, but its useful if you aren’t sure about your course but don’t want to quite give up your place.
- Find some form of enjoyable activity to take your mind off things. It might be a society, it might be a sport, it might be visiting a nice cafe during your time of lectures. Just make some time for you.
- Don’t hide in your work. University is more than just study, and focussing entirely on your work will cause burnout at some point.
- Don’t be embarrassed. You aren’t the only one to struggle with university.
I’m in no way suggesting that doing these will absolutely help you if you’re struggling with university life, but I hope that they will make things a little easier, and make you realise you’re not alone. If you are really struggling, really depressed then things like making me time, sitting down for a cup of tea, heading home for a weekend, these won’t really help at all – you’ll most likely need a permanent fix to the problem.
How did you settle into university?