I'll forever cherish our honeymoon in Croatia
I’m a big fan of Robert Altucher and his blog, The Altucher Confidential. In particular, I like his series of posts answering questions from readers. Today’s post though set off a little fire work in my head. You see, Robert talks about how he’d rather stay home and do the little things than go on a vacation. He doesn’t like the stress of a vacation, nor the expenses and the time wasted. I think a bit differently.
Happiness Now Versus Happy Memories
Let’s separate out two concepts. First, momentary happiness. That’s the feeling you have when you’re having a relaxing day at home. You’re content, life is good. You’re on the sofa, snuggling with a loved one, reading a book or just enjoying the silence. Perhaps you’re at the local coffee shop, sipping on a latte and enjoying people watching. Whatever the case may be, you’re happy. Life is good and you’re enjoying it.
Then there are the happy memories of times gone by. The smile on your wife’s face as she walked down the aisle at your wedding. The first time your child walked. That trip to Tahoe with your friends that ended up with two of you drunk and almost going to jail. That vacation in Croatia where you rented a boat and sailed on the ocean. These are the happy memories that you will cherish for the rest of your life. These are the stories you’ll tell your grandchildren.
Which Is More Important?
There’s no right answer here. If you want to live a happy life you need to have both. I’ve known people who live their whole lives for their next big vacation. They hate their lives and their jobs and they focus only on the next time they’re going to do something fun. They scrimp and they save and they invest every bit of their time in planning their next big vacation. In the meantime, they complain about every aspect of their lives. This sounds miserable to me. How can you spend the majority of your life being stressed out? I’d much rather take some time (and money) and invest it in current happiness.
On the other hand, I know people who do nothing at all. They live day to day following the same routine over and over. Sure, they seem to have fun, they go out with friends, they enjoy the occasional party but they have no big plans, no desire to do anything out of their routine. This would drive me insane out of sheer dullness. Where are the cool stories? Where are the great memories?
There’s a great quote by Michael Ondaatje:
“We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as in caves. I wish for all this to be marked on my body when I am dead. I believe in such cartography.”
That to me is a life worth living. A life that was full of amazing experiences, even though some of them may have scarred us with in their passing. Sure, that vacation was stressful to plan and that trip was a bit expensive and that kid was 18 years of hard work, but those memories will live with us forever. They will be there when we’re old, telling us that we lived a life full and rich in experiences.
The Right Way Is Balance
As with many things, the right path is one of balance. I choose to spend my life finding ways in which I can be happy from day to day. I invest in the little things, the afternoon nap or the evening walk, because they make me content. I also choose to invest in the big things, the honeymoon in Europe and the guy’s trip to Vegas, because they are the birth place of memories which I will cherish forever.
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And speaking of which, my wife and I are going to Charleston and Savannah in a couple of weeks. If anyone has suggestions for cool things to do, please let me know!